Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It is really helpful to hear how other people are navigating this very difficult part of modern parenting, and it’s validating to know that it is hard and emotional for others as well. Grateful for this.
Thanks Erica. I was a little nervous about this one just because I did get so emotional, but I figured if we;re struggling with it, chances are there will be other people who feel similarly. The more we talk about it and the ways we're trying to challenge the status quo, the less alone we feel. Thank you so much for listening 💚💚
Oh Brooke, I am so with you! Hate YouTube and am ENRAGED at those profiting off our kids. My guys are 8 and 4 and we have pretty strong limits now but are constantly experimenting and trying new things. Trying to stay open but not be afraid of setting hard lines about something that has such huge consequences. I appreciate your honesty. Had me saying AMEN! Something I'm curious about... the "tech box" where the devices go to charge. Do you put them there when not in use? Reminds me of a phone box. I have a spot on the counter I try to leave mine when I'm home and only pop over to it when I purposefully need to use it, not just randomly checking it. I take my job as a role model of tech use seriously and find myself wishing other grown ups around me would do the same! Again, thanks for this topic and offering solidarity in that it's just really hard to manage it all.
So so glad to have you listening in Marlee, and to know there are other parents trying to work out the best way forward. It's no joke!
In terms of the tech box, we just have a basket on the bottom of a book shelf that stores the devices when they're not being used (mostly laptops and iPads). Phones tend to stay tethered to the chargers in the kitchen. Similar to you, that just means we need to be physically in that space in order to use our phones and the general uncomfortableness of that means we're just on them far less.
When I saw this podcast pop up I did wonder whether it would be relevant to me (having 'kids' who are now in their early 20's!). But, it is a topic I am really interested in and I am currently reading 'How to do nothing: resisting the attention economy' by Jenny Odell, so I decided to listen in and I am SO glad I did. The issue of social media is relevant to us all. I absolutely felt Brooke's emotion and do feel a similar hatred for the way social media is designed to ensnare us and profit from our attention. I found a really good book on the topic is Stolen Focus by Johann Hari - very readable and might be a good book for teens themselves to read. I was shocked reading this book and learning how social media is designed to be addictive and to show increasingly extreme content. Thank you Brooke and Ben for discussing such an important topic and for emphasising that our overuse of social media isn't due to our weakness - that's such an important message! Listening today also encouraged me to reflect on my own use which is perhaps less about social media and more of the constant news cycle. For me, that is just as addictive and I know it's not good for my brain.
But, just one thing...please let me continue to believe that Substack isn't really social media 🤣🤣
Love your work and loving The Tortoise podcast! xx
I was actually worried about calling it Tech and Kids for that exact reason, but I'm so glad you listened in anyway Carolyn, because as you said, so much of it is relevant to all of us. It's just the pressure of trying to navigate these questions aas adults while also helping our kids through it that feels like a massive challenge right now.
Thank you for the book suggestions too! I've heard of both but read neither (honestly, I find so much of the writing on this topic super depressing) but think I should check them out. Kids like knowing the 'why' of a rule, I've found, so if I can find out more about how these industries work, it will no doubt help me but also them. Thank you a million 💚💚
(And don't worry - Substack is the best of what social media promised as far as I'm concerned 😆)
Absolutely loved this topic! What is it about YouTube? I saw when my son was a toddler how much it affected him and we stopped that for several years. Now I have to set limits (which my husband isn't always on the same page about, frustratingly) otherwise it would be HOURS of watching. I would ban it outright until he was a teenager or older if I could get my husband on board. Seeing how other kids in my life use tech, I know I want it to be different for my 9 year old.
Oh man youtube. It gets its hooks in and doesn't let go. And I think I would ban almost all of the connection tech and SM in this house if I was allowed to run my own little dictatorship 😆😆 Alas. It's not to be. (In saying that, I think that boundaries and freedom within them, combined with lots of conversations and experimentation seems to be striking a *fairly* good balance for us at the moment. Our 14 year old just asked for a flip phone because they want to get off social media, so at there's self-reflection happening, which is pretty cool to see. We'll see how it goes of course, but I'll take it for now!)
Great episode - including the emotions! It's an emotional topic, and it was great to feel like I'm not alone in finding it so 💕. Interestingly, I just listened to an interview with Dr. Victoria Dunckley about her new book, Reset Your Child's Brain (I ordered the book as soon as I finished listening!), which is all about the effects on children of what she calls Electronic Screen Syndrome, and how to mitigate those effects (starting with a three-week 'screen fast'). It's an eye-opening read, especially for those of us with kids who are predisposed to dysregulation. Just in case it's of interest to this community!
Hey Brooke! Just catching up on this episode and I loved it.
I’m struggling with this too (as are many other parents I imagine). My two older children are 8 & 9, and this is a conversation we have constantly!
It started when they were younger by watching their favourite YouTubers, then they wanted Instagram (which I didn’t mind as I could keep it private and they wanted to follow their favourite YouTubers), but now it’s escalated to wanting TikTok and Snapchat etc because their friends have it. it’s too much!
I don’t know where to begin to set boundaries.
Anyway, I’m just thinking out loud. It’s a very tricky subject so thank you guys for talking about it so well 🤍
I’ve not even finished the ep yet but just had to say - I’m not a YouTuber either. My husband 100% is (too much!!) but I barely ever look at it - maybe 1-2 times a year if I want a music video or something.
I thought I was the only one! So thanks for sharing Brooke!
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It is really helpful to hear how other people are navigating this very difficult part of modern parenting, and it’s validating to know that it is hard and emotional for others as well. Grateful for this.
Thanks Erica. I was a little nervous about this one just because I did get so emotional, but I figured if we;re struggling with it, chances are there will be other people who feel similarly. The more we talk about it and the ways we're trying to challenge the status quo, the less alone we feel. Thank you so much for listening 💚💚
Oh Brooke, I am so with you! Hate YouTube and am ENRAGED at those profiting off our kids. My guys are 8 and 4 and we have pretty strong limits now but are constantly experimenting and trying new things. Trying to stay open but not be afraid of setting hard lines about something that has such huge consequences. I appreciate your honesty. Had me saying AMEN! Something I'm curious about... the "tech box" where the devices go to charge. Do you put them there when not in use? Reminds me of a phone box. I have a spot on the counter I try to leave mine when I'm home and only pop over to it when I purposefully need to use it, not just randomly checking it. I take my job as a role model of tech use seriously and find myself wishing other grown ups around me would do the same! Again, thanks for this topic and offering solidarity in that it's just really hard to manage it all.
So so glad to have you listening in Marlee, and to know there are other parents trying to work out the best way forward. It's no joke!
In terms of the tech box, we just have a basket on the bottom of a book shelf that stores the devices when they're not being used (mostly laptops and iPads). Phones tend to stay tethered to the chargers in the kitchen. Similar to you, that just means we need to be physically in that space in order to use our phones and the general uncomfortableness of that means we're just on them far less.
You're definitely not alone in all this 💚💚
When I saw this podcast pop up I did wonder whether it would be relevant to me (having 'kids' who are now in their early 20's!). But, it is a topic I am really interested in and I am currently reading 'How to do nothing: resisting the attention economy' by Jenny Odell, so I decided to listen in and I am SO glad I did. The issue of social media is relevant to us all. I absolutely felt Brooke's emotion and do feel a similar hatred for the way social media is designed to ensnare us and profit from our attention. I found a really good book on the topic is Stolen Focus by Johann Hari - very readable and might be a good book for teens themselves to read. I was shocked reading this book and learning how social media is designed to be addictive and to show increasingly extreme content. Thank you Brooke and Ben for discussing such an important topic and for emphasising that our overuse of social media isn't due to our weakness - that's such an important message! Listening today also encouraged me to reflect on my own use which is perhaps less about social media and more of the constant news cycle. For me, that is just as addictive and I know it's not good for my brain.
But, just one thing...please let me continue to believe that Substack isn't really social media 🤣🤣
Love your work and loving The Tortoise podcast! xx
I was actually worried about calling it Tech and Kids for that exact reason, but I'm so glad you listened in anyway Carolyn, because as you said, so much of it is relevant to all of us. It's just the pressure of trying to navigate these questions aas adults while also helping our kids through it that feels like a massive challenge right now.
Thank you for the book suggestions too! I've heard of both but read neither (honestly, I find so much of the writing on this topic super depressing) but think I should check them out. Kids like knowing the 'why' of a rule, I've found, so if I can find out more about how these industries work, it will no doubt help me but also them. Thank you a million 💚💚
(And don't worry - Substack is the best of what social media promised as far as I'm concerned 😆)
Absolutely loved this topic! What is it about YouTube? I saw when my son was a toddler how much it affected him and we stopped that for several years. Now I have to set limits (which my husband isn't always on the same page about, frustratingly) otherwise it would be HOURS of watching. I would ban it outright until he was a teenager or older if I could get my husband on board. Seeing how other kids in my life use tech, I know I want it to be different for my 9 year old.
Oh man youtube. It gets its hooks in and doesn't let go. And I think I would ban almost all of the connection tech and SM in this house if I was allowed to run my own little dictatorship 😆😆 Alas. It's not to be. (In saying that, I think that boundaries and freedom within them, combined with lots of conversations and experimentation seems to be striking a *fairly* good balance for us at the moment. Our 14 year old just asked for a flip phone because they want to get off social media, so at there's self-reflection happening, which is pretty cool to see. We'll see how it goes of course, but I'll take it for now!)
Thank you for listening in Misti 💚💚
Great episode - including the emotions! It's an emotional topic, and it was great to feel like I'm not alone in finding it so 💕. Interestingly, I just listened to an interview with Dr. Victoria Dunckley about her new book, Reset Your Child's Brain (I ordered the book as soon as I finished listening!), which is all about the effects on children of what she calls Electronic Screen Syndrome, and how to mitigate those effects (starting with a three-week 'screen fast'). It's an eye-opening read, especially for those of us with kids who are predisposed to dysregulation. Just in case it's of interest to this community!
Hey Brooke! Just catching up on this episode and I loved it.
I’m struggling with this too (as are many other parents I imagine). My two older children are 8 & 9, and this is a conversation we have constantly!
It started when they were younger by watching their favourite YouTubers, then they wanted Instagram (which I didn’t mind as I could keep it private and they wanted to follow their favourite YouTubers), but now it’s escalated to wanting TikTok and Snapchat etc because their friends have it. it’s too much!
I don’t know where to begin to set boundaries.
Anyway, I’m just thinking out loud. It’s a very tricky subject so thank you guys for talking about it so well 🤍
I’ve not even finished the ep yet but just had to say - I’m not a YouTuber either. My husband 100% is (too much!!) but I barely ever look at it - maybe 1-2 times a year if I want a music video or something.
I thought I was the only one! So thanks for sharing Brooke!