(The full transcript of this episode can be found by scrolling to the bottom of this page (but please note it’s AI-generated so accuracy will vary)
Welcome to Episode 5 of The Tortoise, the podcast that digs deeps into the possibilities of slow.
You can listen to the podcast right here, or if you’d prefer, subscribe via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite pod-dealing platform.
After a couple of weeks break, it’s so good to be back here in my favourite corner of the internet. I hope your summer/winter has been delightful?
I’ll write a little more about my break next week (yes, I did go swimming in the ocean and yes, it was brilliantly, wonderfully, life-affirmingly cold) but for now want to dig into this month’s episode of the plodcast.
Before I do though, if you’re new here (hello! so glad to have you!) you can sign up to The Tortoise newsletter below to make sure you don’t miss an episode, and by doing so you’ll receive a slow-living letter in your inbox every week-ish. (There is also an option to become a paying supporter for AU$5/month which gives you access to quarterly online retreats and workshops as well as additional posts.)
The Topic: Tech and kids
Oof. I’m not gonna lie, this feels like a big one to try and tackle in just one episode. And before I get into it, let me say that we only just scratch the surface of what is an overwhelming and complex topic.
We’re the parents of two high schoolers (12 and 14 years old) and are constantly negotiating and renegotiating the role that smartphones and social media in particular play in our lives and those of our kids.
We don’t come at any of this as experts (HA!) nor do we come with any judgement. We know there will be things we do well and things we will look back on and wish we’d done differently. That’s just life (and parenting).
What I do feel confident in saying is that at some stage, every parent will struggle with the issue of how to best manage tech and kids, including:
Amount of time spent on screens
How to create boundaries and rules (and stick to them)
Types of content being consumed
Exposure to harmful content
The impact of social media on mental health
How to foster other forms of connection so your kids aren’t being left out
Talking about what they may be seeing online and how it makes them feel
Watching out for social issues like bullying and harassment
Reflecting on our own tech use and what behaviours we’re role-modelling to our kids…
In fact, I also feel pretty confident in saying that tech is one of the top issues facing anyone raising kids right now. Everywhere we look, we’re seeing (and experiencing for ourselves) how toxic the online space can be, how all-encompassing it can feel, how damaging it is to growing minds, hearts and world views.
In this episode, Ben and I talk about the current tech-situation with our two kids —we run the gamut of one child with zero interest in social media and the other creating a PowerPoint presentation to convince us to let them get TikTok — and how it is a constantly changing landscape.
We also talk about the broader trends for tech use and social media for kids (the average amount of daily social media time blew my mind), the huge percentage of kids exposed to porn at a young age, and the impact all of it is having on their health, relationships and self-esteem.
Practically-speaking, we don’t have advice to offer because everyone’s situation is different, but we do share some of what seems to be working for us at the moment, including:
the physical and time-related boundaries we have around tech-use
family experiments on social media usage
talking (a lot) about our issues with tech
the tools we use to monitor the kids’ screen time and which websites they’re allowed access to
There’s no easy answers to the question of managing tech, and yes, at some point we will need to let go, trusting that our kids are well-equipped to make good choices. But for now, it remains a complicated topic that deserves further exploration.
The Reflection: Rachel’s Farm
There is nothing that inspires me more than a good redemption story. Even more so if it features someone willing to own their ignorance and share their efforts to change. Rachel’s Farm is that redemption story.
One woman’s journey from ecological despair to finding hope in the soil beneath her feet.
Film director and actress Rachel Ward is not the first person you’d expect to join a farming revolution. In this triumphant film, Rachel voyages from wilful ignorance about the ecological impacts of conventional agriculture on her own rural property, to embracing a movement to restore the health of Australia’s farmland, food and climate.
I’m not sure if it’s the brutal honesty with which she shares her experience, the (very relatable) “thin-skinned” way Rachel moves through the world or the enthusiasm she brings to challenging circumstances, but there is something in this film that hooked me right through the heart. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I watched it, but what’s more, it’s actually given me something I’ve been short on lately: hope.
If you can, go see it in cinemas (there’s a list of screenings here) and keep an eye out for it on streaming platforms soon. It’s a movie that deserves to be seen far and wide, and I honestly think the world would be an entirely different (and vastly better) place if each of us had some of the courage that Rachel Ward has.
The Links
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Below is a list of links discussed in today’s episode. If I’ve forgotten any, please let me know in the comments:
Kids who get smartphones earlier become adults with worse mental health - Jonathan Haidt on After Babel (This is a very comprehensive if slightly overwhelming Substack that covers a lot of the conversation around tech and teens)
Mental health and social media among teens - Your Local Epidemiologist
Teens, Social Media and Technology 2022 - Pew Research Centre
Porn and Teens - Raising Children
The full transcript of this episode can be found by scrolling to the bottom of this page (but please note it’s AI-generated so accuracy will vary)
Subscribe to the podcast in your favourite app (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher etc)
I hope you enjoy this month’s episode, and if you have any thoughts or suggestions, let me know in the comments.
Until next week, take good care.
Brooke xx
Tech and kids: Episode 5