My motto of recent years that has helped me is “There’s always enough time”. I usually hear this in my head in the voice of my farmer brother with the addition of the F word. I find it helps me relax because there usually is (just) enough time to get things done. And when I’m realising there isn’t, somehow this motto helps me realise that it didn’t all need to be done by the deadline set, or to the standard initially expected. At those times I lower expectations or move some items to a later deadline, and then there is “always enough f-ing time.” Silly, but it helps me.
Haha I think I’d like your brother Sam! Making that shift towards there being enough time is huge isn’t it? As you say, it either turns out to be true, or the deadline is arbitrary to begin with. Or both! 💚
I love this too, Winsome. I often think of it like the weather or dark clouds and try to imagine them drifting away in the breeze. And, yes, the sunshine never stays out for ever either but it's lovely when it does and we appreciate it so much more when it has been hidden behind a cloud x
Brooke, thank you so much for sharing this motto with us! I love it! It takes so much pressure off, and you’re so right, it can be done when it can be done 🥰
Thank you for the very good advice on how to slow down and prioritise. I like the bank account idea, though a visual aid I learnt when my daughter was little, will work better for me. It’s not a motto but it does keep me on track.
I replaced your bank account with a bottle. I find the image of a bottle being full, or empty is very powerful for me.
I learnt this idea when my daughter was little. The bottle starts out full of your child’s happy, stable emotions; the good kind. When you tell a child off, make them feel bad, or unhappy because of what is going on around them, that will empty some of the bottle.
That’s okay, stuff like that happens. But you can’t let the bottle become empty. To fill the bottle add love, praise, support, and spend time with them. Visualising the bottle and realising that you have emptied a lot of the good emotions, is a good reminder to refill it - and perhaps let go of some of the small stuff you might otherwise tell them off about. Of course it also works with your partner and friends.
I’ll now also have a bottle that I will fill with all the tasks I have done, so I can be more relaxed when I make withdrawal, like not cleaning the bathroom, and recognising when I need to start adding tasks to the bottle again. Thank you.
I love this a lot Kate, thank you so much for sharing it. And I agree, the visual of the bottle is super powerful. I found myself using the bank account a lot when the kids were little as well - it was such a good reminder not to get too caught in the weeds - but I think the bottle is even more helpful for that. It feels really positive and proactive, which I was very much in need of when my kids were little. Thanks so much for sharing it 💚💚
I’ll be adopting this motto Brooke, thanks! For decades I’ve invoked “Everything that needs to get done will get done.” Lately it has definitely been on the back burner (as in not there at all) of my mind so I appreciate this reminder to pull it forward.
This is such a a helpful perspective and sums up the way I try to work around chronic illness so well. I accept that sometimes I have to let things go but when I'm able to do a top up of something then I try to do that - it definitely leads to less overwhelm when I have to stop because none of the tasks are left undone for huge lengths of time which makes the idea of starting so much harder. I find using a timer helps me to stay motivated to do things sometimes, just fifteen minutes of half hour makes such a difference and I've learned that most of the jobs I'm putting off don't take as long to do as I tell myself if I do a little bit often. Loved hearing your voice, as always, and the volume was fine for me! 💗
This is such a great analogy, thank you. I can already feel it's going to be hugely helpful as the "back to school" energy of September starts to build
Ok, digging the bank account metaphor. Thanks for sharing <3 It's very helpful to apply to writing for me, as well. Although we sometimes see no or incremental change with our Substack stats, maintaining the mindset that we are making consistent "deposits" in our creative world is a very positive and helpful habit. And it helps us continue doing the things we love <3
I really like this metaphor, thank you Brooke! I have a tendency to get something done then rush into the next thing without first acknowledging and honoring the completion of something. Thinking of it in terms of having made a deposit will really help me make this pause and just be with the completion for a moment. Love it! 💖
I loved this post. We are on week three of the beginning of school, and even though my son is a teenager and I convince myself that I have so much more time, I find myself trying to put WAY too much in the schedule. I have so much I want to explore and learn!
What has helped me is establishing blocks of time that I stick to every day so that I know I'll be making progress toward whatever I'm working on (writing, keeping our house tidy, gardening, moving my body, or even learning Spanish). There are days when something comes up that I didn't expect, but I do my best not to "make up" the time lost or activity that I had to cut out, but instead just continue on the path, knowing it will get done in time. This allows me to only focus on what must be done and lowering my expectations for that day (or week or season!). Just about everything can be put down for a day or two and picked up again when I have the energy or brain space. If I see life as a path (albeit winding!) I don't have to worry so much about making it to the finish line every time!
I don't really have a motto but I find it really useful to set myself really short timeframes to to tackle annoying little must-do's or things that are bothering me and stopping me from relaxing. I'll look at my watch and say "ok, see how much you can do by x time" (which is usually between 2 and 5 minutes) and then smash out whatever the task is. I like it because it makes me feel like I've accomplished a lot in a short time and it makes me feel ok about doing something relaxing afterwards with minimal time invested in life admin
This post reminded me of some important tips I gained from your retreat back in 2019! The first is 'drop your standards', the second is, 'your worth is not tied to your productivity' and maybe most important is 'you are enough' (I have that capitalised, in red and underlined in my notebook from the retreat 😂). I tell myself these things all the time!
Another 'motto' or question I most often turn to (and regularly asked my kids) when struggles or overwhelm arrives is "what is the worst that can happen?" I ask myself this when I don't get around to cleaning the bathroom! It helps me put things in perspective and realise that just because I don't get around to something on my 'list' it isn't the end of the world.
Thank you, as always Brooke for being a part of my day today 💚
My motto during this extremely trying time has been “here is where we are” - this has really helped accept where I am at any given moment and to give myself the grace needed for some of the challenges I am facing.
I love this motto!
My motto of recent years that has helped me is “There’s always enough time”. I usually hear this in my head in the voice of my farmer brother with the addition of the F word. I find it helps me relax because there usually is (just) enough time to get things done. And when I’m realising there isn’t, somehow this motto helps me realise that it didn’t all need to be done by the deadline set, or to the standard initially expected. At those times I lower expectations or move some items to a later deadline, and then there is “always enough f-ing time.” Silly, but it helps me.
Haha I think I’d like your brother Sam! Making that shift towards there being enough time is huge isn’t it? As you say, it either turns out to be true, or the deadline is arbitrary to begin with. Or both! 💚
Same here “We have all the time in the world” ❤️
Oh there’s something so reassuring in those words - thank you for sharing! 💚
"This too shall pass" when things are hard. Equally, the good times pass as well so it's best to savour them - essentially, bank them :)
I love love love this one winsome, for both the good and the bad. It’s a real reminder to pay attention *and* let things be. 💚
I use “This too shall pass” in my life as well 🌿
Oh, I use that too. It really helps on the tough days doesn't it.
I love this too, Winsome. I often think of it like the weather or dark clouds and try to imagine them drifting away in the breeze. And, yes, the sunshine never stays out for ever either but it's lovely when it does and we appreciate it so much more when it has been hidden behind a cloud x
Brooke, thank you so much for sharing this motto with us! I love it! It takes so much pressure off, and you’re so right, it can be done when it can be done 🥰
Thank you for the very good advice on how to slow down and prioritise. I like the bank account idea, though a visual aid I learnt when my daughter was little, will work better for me. It’s not a motto but it does keep me on track.
I replaced your bank account with a bottle. I find the image of a bottle being full, or empty is very powerful for me.
I learnt this idea when my daughter was little. The bottle starts out full of your child’s happy, stable emotions; the good kind. When you tell a child off, make them feel bad, or unhappy because of what is going on around them, that will empty some of the bottle.
That’s okay, stuff like that happens. But you can’t let the bottle become empty. To fill the bottle add love, praise, support, and spend time with them. Visualising the bottle and realising that you have emptied a lot of the good emotions, is a good reminder to refill it - and perhaps let go of some of the small stuff you might otherwise tell them off about. Of course it also works with your partner and friends.
I’ll now also have a bottle that I will fill with all the tasks I have done, so I can be more relaxed when I make withdrawal, like not cleaning the bathroom, and recognising when I need to start adding tasks to the bottle again. Thank you.
I love this a lot Kate, thank you so much for sharing it. And I agree, the visual of the bottle is super powerful. I found myself using the bank account a lot when the kids were little as well - it was such a good reminder not to get too caught in the weeds - but I think the bottle is even more helpful for that. It feels really positive and proactive, which I was very much in need of when my kids were little. Thanks so much for sharing it 💚💚
I’ll be adopting this motto Brooke, thanks! For decades I’ve invoked “Everything that needs to get done will get done.” Lately it has definitely been on the back burner (as in not there at all) of my mind so I appreciate this reminder to pull it forward.
This is such a a helpful perspective and sums up the way I try to work around chronic illness so well. I accept that sometimes I have to let things go but when I'm able to do a top up of something then I try to do that - it definitely leads to less overwhelm when I have to stop because none of the tasks are left undone for huge lengths of time which makes the idea of starting so much harder. I find using a timer helps me to stay motivated to do things sometimes, just fifteen minutes of half hour makes such a difference and I've learned that most of the jobs I'm putting off don't take as long to do as I tell myself if I do a little bit often. Loved hearing your voice, as always, and the volume was fine for me! 💗
This is such a great analogy, thank you. I can already feel it's going to be hugely helpful as the "back to school" energy of September starts to build
Ok, digging the bank account metaphor. Thanks for sharing <3 It's very helpful to apply to writing for me, as well. Although we sometimes see no or incremental change with our Substack stats, maintaining the mindset that we are making consistent "deposits" in our creative world is a very positive and helpful habit. And it helps us continue doing the things we love <3
Thanks for this. (The volume is on the low side for me.)
I really like this metaphor, thank you Brooke! I have a tendency to get something done then rush into the next thing without first acknowledging and honoring the completion of something. Thinking of it in terms of having made a deposit will really help me make this pause and just be with the completion for a moment. Love it! 💖
Great Motto, thanks for sharing. Did a little deep dive of your Substack. Some serious gems in your work.
Thanks Tim! So glad to have you here and to know people are still digging around in my older letters. 💚
I loved this post. We are on week three of the beginning of school, and even though my son is a teenager and I convince myself that I have so much more time, I find myself trying to put WAY too much in the schedule. I have so much I want to explore and learn!
What has helped me is establishing blocks of time that I stick to every day so that I know I'll be making progress toward whatever I'm working on (writing, keeping our house tidy, gardening, moving my body, or even learning Spanish). There are days when something comes up that I didn't expect, but I do my best not to "make up" the time lost or activity that I had to cut out, but instead just continue on the path, knowing it will get done in time. This allows me to only focus on what must be done and lowering my expectations for that day (or week or season!). Just about everything can be put down for a day or two and picked up again when I have the energy or brain space. If I see life as a path (albeit winding!) I don't have to worry so much about making it to the finish line every time!
I don't really have a motto but I find it really useful to set myself really short timeframes to to tackle annoying little must-do's or things that are bothering me and stopping me from relaxing. I'll look at my watch and say "ok, see how much you can do by x time" (which is usually between 2 and 5 minutes) and then smash out whatever the task is. I like it because it makes me feel like I've accomplished a lot in a short time and it makes me feel ok about doing something relaxing afterwards with minimal time invested in life admin
This post reminded me of some important tips I gained from your retreat back in 2019! The first is 'drop your standards', the second is, 'your worth is not tied to your productivity' and maybe most important is 'you are enough' (I have that capitalised, in red and underlined in my notebook from the retreat 😂). I tell myself these things all the time!
Another 'motto' or question I most often turn to (and regularly asked my kids) when struggles or overwhelm arrives is "what is the worst that can happen?" I ask myself this when I don't get around to cleaning the bathroom! It helps me put things in perspective and realise that just because I don't get around to something on my 'list' it isn't the end of the world.
Thank you, as always Brooke for being a part of my day today 💚
My motto during this extremely trying time has been “here is where we are” - this has really helped accept where I am at any given moment and to give myself the grace needed for some of the challenges I am facing.