Reading this reminded me I haven’t been on Instagram for a few weeks, I’ve been struggling with the news, overwhelm, health issues, not sleeping, and life in general, and realised instagram rabbit hole is particularly unhelpful to this and how lovely to realise tonight that I’m not missing it at all... also Brooke, I’ve really loved reading the tortoise this year, reading in this format (rather than social media style snippets) is lovely, I feel relaxed and fulfilled (rather than anxious like I am after time on Instagram) thank you x
I LOVE this realisation Cally. So powerful to sit back and recognise these changes over time. And thank you so much for being here this year. I truly have enjoyed it in a way I haven't enjoyed writing for a very long time. I think it's partly, as you say, because it's not SM, it's not designed for quick churn and grabbing cheap attention, but rather designed to be consumed more slowly. But I also think it's the community that's growing up out of the Tortoise that's made such a difference. I'm so happy to have you here and am excited about what next year might bring too. xx
Thank you for sharing your insights on setting boundaries this year. I had a light bulb moment when you mentioned the importance of being better informed about the things that matter to you.
I have been struggling with staying informed without getting overwhelmed by news for quite some time.
I've been relying on the Apple News App and it's been causing me to doom scroll. But after reading your post, I've decided to uninstall the app and look for other ways to stay informed. 🤍
It's such a tough balance to strike isn't it? But interestingly enough, I've also found that limiting my news and focusing my efforts on quality news has reduced the pressure I feel to stay informed. Possibly because I feel like I'm getting enough good quality info? Probably also to do with consuming less social media news, which is designed to get us to want more, scroll more, read more. It's like a gradual rewiring is happening inside my brain. Let me know how you go with uninstalling the Apple News and where you find your info. Good luck Dawn! x
Thank you Brooke, Yes, it’s the Good Quality, Informative News that I want to find. Today I’ve been more focused since not having the News App tempting me to scroll looking for those dramatic headlines. I know it will give me more time to spend on here on Substack and am inspired to finally get writing again. I will keep you posted! 🤍
It's fascinating to sit back and recognise that so much of what I thought was either interesting or important, was a result of the platform itself and the dopamine hits it's designed to bring, rather than actually being interesting. I feel like my brain is slowly rewiring itself. I'm really glad you've found a similar sense of peace too June xx
I deactivated my personal Insta on Boxing Day last year and haven’t been back. That said, I still have my dog’s Insta account😅, so my family and a couple of friends do DM me funny posts there - but I’ve had so much less FOMO angst following only pet and animal accounts.
I’ve also put in a firm boundary on the news this year. I download the UK version of The Week, and I just read that. It’s fairly balanced, brings in coverage from the political spectrum of media outlets, and I’m well informed while just reading one thing. So much better, so much calmer.
Yes! I think finding a good, balanced source of news is key too Helen. Which is sometimes easier said than done, I think! Sounds like you've landed in a great place, balancing a need to be informed with a need to protect your peace. 💚
I have learnt more and more that thinking about, setting and implementing boundaries is one of the single greatest and most powerful acts of self care and love you can do.
Thank you for sharing this! And your special offer, I have subscribed!
I joined Substack four months to share my experience of slow and gentle living as a guiding philosophy. I am so excited to learn more from you Brooke!
Three weeks ago I felt convicted to unfollow many current events stacks and IG accounts. I still occasionally feel a pull to check them. But I’ve gained so much peace and time to pursue life-giving thoughts rather than validations of the negative and justification for bitterness, self-righteousness. I’m so grateful I changed my focus!
This is so so wonderful to read! And I can totally relate to still feeling the pull to check in. I think it takes time to rewire our brains, and also: we have different needs at different times. Both of those things are true and good I think. 💚
Thanks Melian. It was a big realisation for me this year, to know that I could aim forward, to heal, rather than try to claw my way back, to recover. It gave me a lot more freedom in terms of what it could look like to feel better, and removed a lot of shame and guilt around 'not being how I was'. I'm so glad it resonated with you. xx
Love the title (and the rest of the article, I'll be restacking quotes and comments to Notes shortly). That's the key to healthy boundaries: it's never about what YOU must not do, nor where YOU must not enter, but about where I end, because from there on is YOUR place and none of my business.
Thank you so much for sharing this letter, Shmuel. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I really like the differentiation between where we end and another begins - and what we can/can't do about them. So much peace to gain simply by recognising the difference, I think.
I've noticed I've been spending too much time on news sites lately and was about to go cold turkey on it, then this bloody cyclone popped up and my town is in the path so I feel like I have to keep tabs on that 🙄
Ironically, the other thing I was doing a lot of was looking at houses on realestate, but all of those places are also in the path of the cyclone, so that has put a quick stop to that time-suck 😅
It’s wonderful to read about the success you’ve had with boundaries. I feel so similar to you Brooke! I have stepped away from all social media this year and it has had a hugely positive impact on my mental wellbeing. The news cycle has been my ‘biggie’ and although it’s challenging I feel I am making progress. Interestingly, like you I feel much more balanced and reflective in my thinking by reading quality longer piece journalism.
External boundaries saw me saying ‘no’ for the very first time in my life when I was asked to help with a community event. I still felt the need to explain myself but that’s ok.
Boundaries I’m still working on are around acknowledging that I can’t (and never will) be able to do all the things I want to do. I have a list a mile long of all the courses I want to do, groups to get involved with, skills I want to learn, books I want to read etc etc. I’m a very curious person 🤣 So I’m practicing stopping myself, making a note of it and letting it sit for a while and then staying focused on the priorities of now.
Thank you so much for sharing everything you have through 2023. My life is enriched by your (and Ben’s!) presence, writing and podcasting.
Reading this reminded me I haven’t been on Instagram for a few weeks, I’ve been struggling with the news, overwhelm, health issues, not sleeping, and life in general, and realised instagram rabbit hole is particularly unhelpful to this and how lovely to realise tonight that I’m not missing it at all... also Brooke, I’ve really loved reading the tortoise this year, reading in this format (rather than social media style snippets) is lovely, I feel relaxed and fulfilled (rather than anxious like I am after time on Instagram) thank you x
I LOVE this realisation Cally. So powerful to sit back and recognise these changes over time. And thank you so much for being here this year. I truly have enjoyed it in a way I haven't enjoyed writing for a very long time. I think it's partly, as you say, because it's not SM, it's not designed for quick churn and grabbing cheap attention, but rather designed to be consumed more slowly. But I also think it's the community that's growing up out of the Tortoise that's made such a difference. I'm so happy to have you here and am excited about what next year might bring too. xx
Thank you for sharing your insights on setting boundaries this year. I had a light bulb moment when you mentioned the importance of being better informed about the things that matter to you.
I have been struggling with staying informed without getting overwhelmed by news for quite some time.
I've been relying on the Apple News App and it's been causing me to doom scroll. But after reading your post, I've decided to uninstall the app and look for other ways to stay informed. 🤍
It's such a tough balance to strike isn't it? But interestingly enough, I've also found that limiting my news and focusing my efforts on quality news has reduced the pressure I feel to stay informed. Possibly because I feel like I'm getting enough good quality info? Probably also to do with consuming less social media news, which is designed to get us to want more, scroll more, read more. It's like a gradual rewiring is happening inside my brain. Let me know how you go with uninstalling the Apple News and where you find your info. Good luck Dawn! x
Thank you Brooke, Yes, it’s the Good Quality, Informative News that I want to find. Today I’ve been more focused since not having the News App tempting me to scroll looking for those dramatic headlines. I know it will give me more time to spend on here on Substack and am inspired to finally get writing again. I will keep you posted! 🤍
I also gave up most social media interaction. I now just look very occasionally and , as you say, it is much less interesting.
It's fascinating to sit back and recognise that so much of what I thought was either interesting or important, was a result of the platform itself and the dopamine hits it's designed to bring, rather than actually being interesting. I feel like my brain is slowly rewiring itself. I'm really glad you've found a similar sense of peace too June xx
I deactivated my personal Insta on Boxing Day last year and haven’t been back. That said, I still have my dog’s Insta account😅, so my family and a couple of friends do DM me funny posts there - but I’ve had so much less FOMO angst following only pet and animal accounts.
That's brilliant to hear, Manda! And yes to less FOMO. Also - pet and animal accounts are delightful 💚💚
I’ve also put in a firm boundary on the news this year. I download the UK version of The Week, and I just read that. It’s fairly balanced, brings in coverage from the political spectrum of media outlets, and I’m well informed while just reading one thing. So much better, so much calmer.
Yes! I think finding a good, balanced source of news is key too Helen. Which is sometimes easier said than done, I think! Sounds like you've landed in a great place, balancing a need to be informed with a need to protect your peace. 💚
I have learnt more and more that thinking about, setting and implementing boundaries is one of the single greatest and most powerful acts of self care and love you can do.
Thank you for sharing this! And your special offer, I have subscribed!
I joined Substack four months to share my experience of slow and gentle living as a guiding philosophy. I am so excited to learn more from you Brooke!
I'm so happy to have you here Emily! Thank you for joining us 💚💚
💕🙏 excited to explore with you !
Three weeks ago I felt convicted to unfollow many current events stacks and IG accounts. I still occasionally feel a pull to check them. But I’ve gained so much peace and time to pursue life-giving thoughts rather than validations of the negative and justification for bitterness, self-righteousness. I’m so grateful I changed my focus!
This is so so wonderful to read! And I can totally relate to still feeling the pull to check in. I think it takes time to rewire our brains, and also: we have different needs at different times. Both of those things are true and good I think. 💚
I really like your quote on healing and recovery. I will think about that one.
Thanks Melian. It was a big realisation for me this year, to know that I could aim forward, to heal, rather than try to claw my way back, to recover. It gave me a lot more freedom in terms of what it could look like to feel better, and removed a lot of shame and guilt around 'not being how I was'. I'm so glad it resonated with you. xx
Love the title (and the rest of the article, I'll be restacking quotes and comments to Notes shortly). That's the key to healthy boundaries: it's never about what YOU must not do, nor where YOU must not enter, but about where I end, because from there on is YOUR place and none of my business.
Thank you so much for sharing this letter, Shmuel. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I really like the differentiation between where we end and another begins - and what we can/can't do about them. So much peace to gain simply by recognising the difference, I think.
I've noticed I've been spending too much time on news sites lately and was about to go cold turkey on it, then this bloody cyclone popped up and my town is in the path so I feel like I have to keep tabs on that 🙄
Ironically, the other thing I was doing a lot of was looking at houses on realestate, but all of those places are also in the path of the cyclone, so that has put a quick stop to that time-suck 😅
Argh, yes. There's probably good times to go cold turkey and...less good times. 😅 I hope you're okay and you and your loved ones are safe. xx
We're all good, just a lot of trees and branches down and power is out in most of town
It’s wonderful to read about the success you’ve had with boundaries. I feel so similar to you Brooke! I have stepped away from all social media this year and it has had a hugely positive impact on my mental wellbeing. The news cycle has been my ‘biggie’ and although it’s challenging I feel I am making progress. Interestingly, like you I feel much more balanced and reflective in my thinking by reading quality longer piece journalism.
External boundaries saw me saying ‘no’ for the very first time in my life when I was asked to help with a community event. I still felt the need to explain myself but that’s ok.
Boundaries I’m still working on are around acknowledging that I can’t (and never will) be able to do all the things I want to do. I have a list a mile long of all the courses I want to do, groups to get involved with, skills I want to learn, books I want to read etc etc. I’m a very curious person 🤣 So I’m practicing stopping myself, making a note of it and letting it sit for a while and then staying focused on the priorities of now.
Thank you so much for sharing everything you have through 2023. My life is enriched by your (and Ben’s!) presence, writing and podcasting.
Can’t wait for 2024!!!
Xx