I loved this episode! I am a relatively new listener and you have literally changed my life in a matter of weeks. I have felt such a weight lifted off of my shoulders in the last month as I have started to slow down, and I could not be more appreciative to you for sharing and asking big questions. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you so much Cara! I've been thinking about your lovely comment and feedback since this morning - you genuinely made my day! I'm so happy to have you here and so glad you found The Tortoise. Here's to taking more weight off our collective shoulders 💚💚
I really appreciated this episode! Since I'm firmly in my 40s now and though my parents are still relatively young (early-mid 60s) it isn't as stressful yet but my inlaws are all in their mid to late 70s and starting to show those signs of needing more care or at least thinking about 10 years from now and the care needed. And with my own son...it's a lot! I wish our society was set up to help out for all of these life changes during this time period (and let's not even get into the health issues we have for ourselves right now!)
Thank you so much Misti! It really is a lot isn't it? I'm glad to be thinking ahead too, but some days it really does feel daunting. I think the more we talk about it, the more we share stories and what works/doesn't work for us, the less alone we'll feel in all of it. That's my theory anyway! Thanks so much for listening and sharing some of your story xx
I am just getting on to catching up on your new podcast, and am loving this episode. I have never heard of the term ‘sandwich generation’, but have felt it. As a late primary school kid to young teenager through to my mid 20’s I watched my parents look after their parents. And i felt and watched it rob me of my childhood and valuable time when i needed my parents (particularly my mum) as i navigated the tricky years and was trying to find myself. We never got that time to develop our relationship fully into two adult women and that is now a little casual and formal instead of warm. It is something I feel triggered by as a mum with young littles watching our parents approach 70, and not wanting history to repeat itself. I cant bring myself to pour all my spare time and attention into care for my elderly parents when that time comes at the cost of the relationships my children need of me so they can thrive as adults. I will have to let them heavily rely on the paid and government resources available to fill in the large gaps that i will not be able to fill. My kids are 2-7 so it will be a juggle with 70yr old parents and still preschoolers at home.
I absolutely loved this episode, thank you so much 💕💕. I just turned 40, have 3 young kids (9,6,3), parents in their 70s and looking down the barrel of a dementia diagnosis for my dad, all whilst trying to establish my career and not loose myself completely- it feels like such a lot!!
We are soon moving overseas to the Solomon Islands for my job and away from our families for a few years- it has brought up so much emotion in our families, but also started great conversations and planning for the future for our parents and amongst our siblings. Talking really is the key.
Thank you for highlighting how difficult (and normal) this stage can be and that I am not alone 💕💕
Hello! Long time listener, first time commenter :) I’m here because that “local vs like-minded” community comment that you shared on the podcast (and the conversation that followed) had me deeeep in reflection. Ahhh I have so many thoughts! And I love it!
My first thought was “YESSS THIS!” - I IMMEDIATELY connected with it - the premise that like-minded communities (online or irl) fill us up so we can give back to local communities (potentially less like-minded) was suuuuper intuitive for me. I actively seek out/ crave like-minded people all the time (I mean like, to the capacity that my little introverted-heart can handle), because they “fill up my cup.” And I’m 100% the girl that gives home-made brownies to our neighbour who very openly shares their affinity for Pauline Hanson (which, you know, moves past ‘cup-emptying’ and into ‘cup-shattering’ territory pretty quickly).
But I sat with it some more… and I wondered if that premise - that there are “like-minded” communities and NOT “like-minded” communities was actually… true? Because (and hear me out!) this same guy who advocates for Pauline Hanson also has daughters the same age as mine - he’s extremely emotionally intelligent - he’s big on vulnerability - we’re from the same socio-economic bracket - we connect with one another over how hard it is to be renting, on what it was like growing up in rural NSW, and how lonely we feel being new to our area, and far away from supportive extended family. And we swap all sorts of challenging, heart-warming stories about our 12-turning-13 yr old daughters.
All of this is to say, I wonder (and this isn’t something I’m resolved on, it’s just a thought!) if what REALLY fills up my cup are moments of human connection - and that if I frame it as “like-minded communities” vs. “not-like-minded” - that might undermine/ not do justice to some pretty beautiful cup-filling stuff that can happen with my “Pauline Hanson is great also I don’t get Vegetarians at all” community member.
LOVE the food for thought, thanks to you and the commenter Stephanie, both 🙂
I never heard of the sandwich generation. Thx for enlightening me. I definitely fit into it. I have a dad who is 76 (my mom passed already and my in laws) and I have 3 teenagers. I definitely feel the pangs of <doing it all> but feel that I have a good grasp in keeping it simple-ish. My older sister carries the mental weight of my dad's lifestyle, needs etc. She can't let go what she can't control and so that causes conflict at times. I also wanted my express my care to Ben with his father's condition. I know all to well about Dementia -my mom had Alzheimers disease and it surely is a long battle.
Another great episode - thank you Brooke and Ben. As a fellow member of the sandwich generation, I can relate to so much of what was said. My partner and I have between 5 kids ranging from 14-23, and although my parents are no longer with us, we lost his mom this past winter, and her final months definitely strained us.
I also appreciated the conversation around community. What a wonderful explanation from Stephanie. It really hit my feelings about community spot on. I wanted to respond to Ben’s reflections on the fact that the like-minded community doesn’t always feel as fulfilling as time spent in the trenches with local community. I’m wondering if this has to do with the concepts of challenge and stretching ourselves to grow? I have come to realize over the past few years just how essential it is for me to have challenge in my life. While it is often uncomfortable in the moment, moving through challenges and learning from them gives my life such a sense of meaning. I compare reading a post from a like-minded community member to laying on a beach with a book. It’s enjoyable but it doesn’t really help me grow as a human. While interacting with someone who may have different views or values from me, and working together with them on one common cause related to local community, that really stretches my social-emotional muscles and builds my empathy.
I loved this episode! I am a relatively new listener and you have literally changed my life in a matter of weeks. I have felt such a weight lifted off of my shoulders in the last month as I have started to slow down, and I could not be more appreciative to you for sharing and asking big questions. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you so much Cara! I've been thinking about your lovely comment and feedback since this morning - you genuinely made my day! I'm so happy to have you here and so glad you found The Tortoise. Here's to taking more weight off our collective shoulders 💚💚
I really appreciated this episode! Since I'm firmly in my 40s now and though my parents are still relatively young (early-mid 60s) it isn't as stressful yet but my inlaws are all in their mid to late 70s and starting to show those signs of needing more care or at least thinking about 10 years from now and the care needed. And with my own son...it's a lot! I wish our society was set up to help out for all of these life changes during this time period (and let's not even get into the health issues we have for ourselves right now!)
Thank you so much Misti! It really is a lot isn't it? I'm glad to be thinking ahead too, but some days it really does feel daunting. I think the more we talk about it, the more we share stories and what works/doesn't work for us, the less alone we'll feel in all of it. That's my theory anyway! Thanks so much for listening and sharing some of your story xx
I am just getting on to catching up on your new podcast, and am loving this episode. I have never heard of the term ‘sandwich generation’, but have felt it. As a late primary school kid to young teenager through to my mid 20’s I watched my parents look after their parents. And i felt and watched it rob me of my childhood and valuable time when i needed my parents (particularly my mum) as i navigated the tricky years and was trying to find myself. We never got that time to develop our relationship fully into two adult women and that is now a little casual and formal instead of warm. It is something I feel triggered by as a mum with young littles watching our parents approach 70, and not wanting history to repeat itself. I cant bring myself to pour all my spare time and attention into care for my elderly parents when that time comes at the cost of the relationships my children need of me so they can thrive as adults. I will have to let them heavily rely on the paid and government resources available to fill in the large gaps that i will not be able to fill. My kids are 2-7 so it will be a juggle with 70yr old parents and still preschoolers at home.
I absolutely loved this episode, thank you so much 💕💕. I just turned 40, have 3 young kids (9,6,3), parents in their 70s and looking down the barrel of a dementia diagnosis for my dad, all whilst trying to establish my career and not loose myself completely- it feels like such a lot!!
We are soon moving overseas to the Solomon Islands for my job and away from our families for a few years- it has brought up so much emotion in our families, but also started great conversations and planning for the future for our parents and amongst our siblings. Talking really is the key.
Thank you for highlighting how difficult (and normal) this stage can be and that I am not alone 💕💕
Hello! Long time listener, first time commenter :) I’m here because that “local vs like-minded” community comment that you shared on the podcast (and the conversation that followed) had me deeeep in reflection. Ahhh I have so many thoughts! And I love it!
My first thought was “YESSS THIS!” - I IMMEDIATELY connected with it - the premise that like-minded communities (online or irl) fill us up so we can give back to local communities (potentially less like-minded) was suuuuper intuitive for me. I actively seek out/ crave like-minded people all the time (I mean like, to the capacity that my little introverted-heart can handle), because they “fill up my cup.” And I’m 100% the girl that gives home-made brownies to our neighbour who very openly shares their affinity for Pauline Hanson (which, you know, moves past ‘cup-emptying’ and into ‘cup-shattering’ territory pretty quickly).
But I sat with it some more… and I wondered if that premise - that there are “like-minded” communities and NOT “like-minded” communities was actually… true? Because (and hear me out!) this same guy who advocates for Pauline Hanson also has daughters the same age as mine - he’s extremely emotionally intelligent - he’s big on vulnerability - we’re from the same socio-economic bracket - we connect with one another over how hard it is to be renting, on what it was like growing up in rural NSW, and how lonely we feel being new to our area, and far away from supportive extended family. And we swap all sorts of challenging, heart-warming stories about our 12-turning-13 yr old daughters.
All of this is to say, I wonder (and this isn’t something I’m resolved on, it’s just a thought!) if what REALLY fills up my cup are moments of human connection - and that if I frame it as “like-minded communities” vs. “not-like-minded” - that might undermine/ not do justice to some pretty beautiful cup-filling stuff that can happen with my “Pauline Hanson is great also I don’t get Vegetarians at all” community member.
LOVE the food for thought, thanks to you and the commenter Stephanie, both 🙂
Bec
I never heard of the sandwich generation. Thx for enlightening me. I definitely fit into it. I have a dad who is 76 (my mom passed already and my in laws) and I have 3 teenagers. I definitely feel the pangs of <doing it all> but feel that I have a good grasp in keeping it simple-ish. My older sister carries the mental weight of my dad's lifestyle, needs etc. She can't let go what she can't control and so that causes conflict at times. I also wanted my express my care to Ben with his father's condition. I know all to well about Dementia -my mom had Alzheimers disease and it surely is a long battle.
Another great episode - thank you Brooke and Ben. As a fellow member of the sandwich generation, I can relate to so much of what was said. My partner and I have between 5 kids ranging from 14-23, and although my parents are no longer with us, we lost his mom this past winter, and her final months definitely strained us.
I also appreciated the conversation around community. What a wonderful explanation from Stephanie. It really hit my feelings about community spot on. I wanted to respond to Ben’s reflections on the fact that the like-minded community doesn’t always feel as fulfilling as time spent in the trenches with local community. I’m wondering if this has to do with the concepts of challenge and stretching ourselves to grow? I have come to realize over the past few years just how essential it is for me to have challenge in my life. While it is often uncomfortable in the moment, moving through challenges and learning from them gives my life such a sense of meaning. I compare reading a post from a like-minded community member to laying on a beach with a book. It’s enjoyable but it doesn’t really help me grow as a human. While interacting with someone who may have different views or values from me, and working together with them on one common cause related to local community, that really stretches my social-emotional muscles and builds my empathy.
Looking forward to more!