The Dawdler #1 - Ferocious Joy

an antidote to cynicism and other wonderful things to linger over

Chasing waterfalls. Niagara Falls 2018

Welcome to the first edition of The Dawdler — a new monthly feature (that will usually be) for paying subscribers of The Tortoise. Every month I’ll curate and share some lovely things you might like to explore with a cup of something nice.

Hopefully you’ll dip into and out of this list over the coming weeks when you find yourself looking for something slow, sweet, nourishing or delightful to watch/read/listen to. (It’s a good alternative to doom-scrolling!)

Ferocious joy.

“As long as we’re cynical, nothing gets done, nothing changes. We have to nurture hope and nurture joy.” 

Rainn Wilson, in conversation with Brad Montague

This recent conversation between Rainn Wilson and Brad Montague is really lovely. It’s a little meandering and very human — my favourite kind of chat — and they spend some time talking about joy as an antidote to cynicism. But more specifically, as something we need to choose to do, rather than something that will find us. I’ve been thinking about it for days.

Because there is so much to be cynical about. I get it. I slip there often. Sometimes I stay a while.

But ultimately I think I’m allergic to cynicism. It doesn’t sit right in my body. And spending too much time with people who are deeply cynical also makes me uneasy. Maybe because I see myself in them and am trying to make space for a different version of myself.

One who hopes, who loves, who delights. One who treats those words as verbs rather than nouns. As something to do rather than a concept to grasp.

Where I’ve found ferocious joy lately

Memories

I wrote this poem one humid morning while we were staying at a (what I believe to be very haunted) house with my entire family. We’d made it through lockdowns and failed book launches and my dad spending months in ICU and the air felt heavy with a combination of exhaustion, burnout, gratitude and yes, ferocious joy.

Collier Cottage, Jaunary 2022

Collier Cottage 

Remember this moment
this peace
the quiet that rings in your ears. 

Hold gently the memory
of whip-birds and blackouts,
white sheets and coffee.

Hot, still nights and 
cool, humid mornings that
whisper of afternoon storms to come.

The spiders and wallabies,
fairy wrens and lyre birds, 
leeches and solitary wombats.

All are a part of this moment’s sum,
all are much more than a part.

They are an arms-open invitation
to settle
into the rhythm
of being once
and for all, 
truly alive. 

(BM, January 2022)

The Matildas.

Like most Australians, I’ve been absolutely engulfed with love for our women’s national soccer team, the Matildas, over the past few weeks while the World Cup was played here and NZ.

This team of women is talented, passionate, and fiercely proud of what they’ve achieved and as much as winning games is important, have repeatedly said that their goal was to inspire people. Given the conversations I’ve had and heard, the backyard soccer games we’ve played, and the way the entire discussion around women and sport and empowerment and doing things in a different (better) way has shifted a few degrees over the past few weeks, I hope they consider that goal achieved.

Legacy, baby. I love it.

Things I’ve read:

I’m breaking up with punnets: The age of chaos gardening has arrived — Lofi Life by Casey Lister

Chaos gardening is imperfection in the extreme, and it’s fun (and apparently it’s going viral on Tik Tok, but I’m 32 33 and I have no idea what the kids are doing on there). It is the unpretentious, practical, pared-back bones of everything that makes gardening good, wild and successful.

Handbuilt: A Modern Potter's Guide to Handbuilding with Clay by Lilly Maetzig

I’ve had to give up my pottery lessons this term due to time constraints, and man I miss it. I’ve consoled myself by reading this wonderful book by Lilly Maetzig, which offers this novice a wonderful overview of the basics of handbuilt pottery and has kept me inspired for when I can get back to class.

The Dangers of Substack for the Chronically Low Self-Esteemed — Shalom Auslander’s Fetal Position

You tear yourself open, and you look inside. Sometimes you find something awful, sometimes you find something redeeming. Sometimes you find something funny, sometimes you find something sad (sometimes you find something that's sad and you realize it's funny). But you always find something, and I believe being honest about that something is therapeutic, and possibly curative, for yourself and humanity at large.

Building a Creative Practice: Could it even be the key to longevity? — The Biblioracle Recommends by John Warner

Being creative requires no specific knowledge that I can think of. Children are inherently creative. Consider the bog standard imaginative play that any kid engages in with their toys. My older brother, now a successful lawyer, was an insanely creative kid. After a family visit to Disney World when I was four and he was eight, he recreated Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in our basement, including flames licking up from the title floor and low hanging bridge gates that threatened to decapitate the rider. (Me perched on a chair, holding a hockey stick at neck height.)

Wanting More - On happiness and chasing impossible goals — Incidental Comics by Grant Snider

Finding balance turns out to be another impossible goal. But even in an unbalanced creative life, I manage to find joy. Joy in trying new art supplies. Joy in exploring new visual metaphors for the overexamined life. And joy in ending the day with a new flavor of ice cream.

Incidental Comics by Grant Snider

Things I’ve watched

The Bear Season 2

My god. I loved it. All of it.

Barbie

I might well be the last person in the entire world to watch this movie, but I took myself off to the cinema on Friday, coffee and cake in hand, and loved every second of Barbie. It was silly and joyful and surprisingly emotional. It says a lot about mothers and daughters and growing up and growing cynical and how to pull ourselves back from that. I think all the hot takes have already been taken, so I won’t add mine, other than to say I’m glad this movie exists (and you are Kenough.)

Only Murders in the Building Season 2

This show is a cosy blanket of a ridiculous murder mystery (Selena Gomez! Tina Fey! Steve Martin! Martin Short! What’s not to love?!) 

Steve Martin and Martin Short: An evening you will forget for the rest of your life!

Speaking of Steve Martin and Martin Short, their 2018 Netflix special is what one of our friends once dubbed, ‘the best kind of Dad humour’. It’s so silly and so funny and absolutely worth a watch if you need something joyful to watch for an hour.

The Cottage Fairy on Youtube

After receiving a recommendation (thank you Laura!!) I checked out this video on mono-tasking by The Cottage Fairy. It’s a really sweet, very relaxing and visually beautiful look at single-tasking, something I’m a big believer in. I’ve always wondered about ‘slow living’ youtube but never really explored it, and I was surprised by how chill it felt. I like the way Paola weaves together different vibes in the one video. Plus she lives in an absolutely beautiful part of the world (Washington State) and this felt like a little getaway.

This sweet video on Instagram

A man in Brooklyn set up his telescope in the middle of the street so he could show strangers Saturn. Sharing joy.

author

Good News Movement on Instagram: “HUMANITY: This sweet man set up his telescope on a city street so others could catch a spectacular glimpse of Saturn—🪐 and enjoy it like he did. 🥹🥰
Love this-share the joy 💫 🎥 @daphnejulietellis h/t @nybucketlist”

August 25, 2023

Things I’ve listened to

Take it Slow by Bobby Alu

I think I feel a slow, breezy, tropical-inspired summer coming.

This conversation between Rainn Wilson and Brad Montague

Another reminder to take a listen here. I think it’s good for the heart.

Binaural Beats

This playlist does something to my brain and helps me focus. It’s on high rotation.

Imogen Heap’s score for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Seeing this show in Melbourne last year is one of my fondest memories, so listening to the music while I work is such a joy.

To be honest, I’ve been a little light on the listening this month — most of my listening time is currently being spent thinking rather than consuming. I guess that counts as a different kind of listening? Listening to thoughts and ideas and letting them wrestle for meaning inside my brain.

That said, if you have some podcasts or music you’d recommend, let me know.

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That’s it from me and the first edition of The Dawdler. I hope it’s something you enjoy dipping in and out of over the coming days.

I’ll be back next Thursday with a letter for you, but until then, take good care.
Brooke xx