(This voiceover is an audio version of the newsletter below. As always, it’s unedited. If you prefer to listen to these posts, I hope you enjoy it, stumbles and all.)
Hello mates, and happiest of Sundays! I hope you have some tiny, lovely thing to look forward to today?
One of the things I’ve been looking forward to this week is this thread. I’ve gotten so much joy from our community threads over the past few months. They’re usually for paying supporters but I like to open them up to everyone sometimes, especially when I think they’re going to offer a lot of crowd-sourced wisdom.
(So, hello! Welcome! If you’ve been thinking of becoming a paying supporter and joining us for monthly mini-workshops, an archive of online retreats and extra Sunday letters, we’d love to have you! Just a heads up that subscriptions will be going up in price next month as my back catalogue of workshops and retreats grows. You can currently sign up for $AU5/month or $50/year, so if that feels like something you’d like to do, you can join us here.)
Today, I want to share two things that have had a surprising impact on my consumption and general philosophy about stuff over the years.
The first is (very randomly) a kid’s book — A Squash and a Squeeze, by Julia Donaldson.
If you don’t know it word-for-word because your kids didn’t demand it hundreds of times and it’s not lodged in your brain forever like the Triple Dent Gum ad from Inside Out, you can watch one of those read-through videos here. But essentially, it tells the story of an old woman who complains that her house is too small.
A “wise old man” tells her the best way to solve this problem is to take in her hen. Then her goat. Then her pig. And finally, when the house can take no more, he tells her to take in her cow.
When the house is overrun by animals and really, truly too small for all of its inhabitants, the same wise old man tells her to then take her animals out.
One by one, she kicks the animals out, and with every bit of room she reclaims, it feels bigger than it ever had. Eventually, when it’s just her in her house, she realises it’s actually more than enough.
I know it’s just a rhyming kid’s book, but I love the perspective shift. How we think something in our lives is not good enough, only to discover it’s more than enough once we change our point of view.
It’s a bit like that feeling we get coming home from camping. A few days spent sleeping in a swag, and suddenly our house feels luxurious, with its running water and electricity and dining table.
Sometimes, a temporary change to our status quo is all it takes to shift our perspective from not enough to plentiful.
The second is a hack, I guess?
Even as I’m writing this, I think it might be very obvious, and if that’s the case, forgive this geriatric millennial!
But about a year ago, I got sick of receiving endless marketing emails. Some were valid lists that I had opted in to, but most were for things I’d never signed up for in the first place. I did all the things you’re meant to do to make them go away. Unsubscribed, marked them as spam, replied and asked them to remove me from their lists. Sometimes they did, only to start emailing me again months later, and often they just kept coming. It got to the point where about 90% of my emails were marketing.
I took five minutes to flick through the marketing emails and noticed that almost all of them had a variation of an ‘Unsubscribe’ message in their footer. I noted what they were and set up several rules in my email provider (Outlook) which send straight to Junk any emails that contain the following phrases:
“stop receiving emails”
“reply with ‘No thanks’”
“rather not receive future communications”
“opt out”
No more PR pitches, no more sales emails, no more “last chance to get the best deal”, no more scammers. I take a quick scroll through the Junk folder every few days to make sure nothing I want has slipped through the cracks — which does happen — and my inbox has reduced unbelievably.
10/10 Would recommend.
(Which reminds me! If you’re getting bombarded by Substack emails — they have a bad habit of signing people up for extra newsletters without really asking — you can adjust your mailing preferences by going to your settings page here.)
So now I’d like to know one of your favourite anti-consumption hacks, reframes or tools! I want to be inspired by yours! I want to add them to my repertoire! Share away!
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. And if we’re going to consume things, let them be delightful. I’m thinking great books and lovely coffee and nice chats with good people.
I would say my biggest hack is asking myself "how can I make this work with what I have?" I ask myself this whenever I feel like I need to buy something to complete a task, achieve a thing or to store something differently. You'd be surprised how often I can move something or repurpose something and it does the trick. I fell into this habit when I volunteered for not for profits and didn't want to waste hard-earned donation money on anything but the most important thing and it's followed me into the home and every workplace I've been in. It's probably my only form of creativity 🤣
It’s amazing how often I forget this simple hack. I have a basement and small attic full of little things I don’t know what to do with. Little bowls, enamels pots and picture frames. It’s fun to shop the house first.
I heard the term 'This is nature' from Joseph Goldstein, as a noting exercise to say to yourself and reconnect to the present moment. I apply this when I am feeling pressured to buy or consume something. I say: 'This is marketing' : -)
My shoulders just drooped in relief reading that — "This is marketing." What a powerful little tool to keep in our pockets. Just a reminder that something is being done at us and we don't need to play along if we don't want to. I feel better just reading that, thank you 💚💚💚💚
My hack was to really understand that what I own does not define my worth as a person by really deeply feeling that I am enough. When possessions became just things that I need, with a few wants thrown in too, overconsumption stopped being a path that I was being diverted to.
I feel this right to my core Diane, and I think so much of what we all feel compelled to want is tied up in that not-enoughness. As you said, once you recognised you were enough, things were just things, no longer solutions to problems. That's so powerful 💚
No longer following influencers, limiting my time on algorithms and places where I’m advertised to a lot, not following brands (even ones I really like) and unsubscribing for emails all really helped me! Removing the temptations as much as possible, out of sight out of mind.
Also never adding something to my cart just to reach free shipping or another perk - I realised these were always wastes of money that I never actually used. A small but significant mindset shift for me. Just because it’s free or cheap (especially because half the time you are still spending the money!) doesn’t mean I should have it.
These are so good Jennifer - and hard agree on free shipping! I think once you're able to make that mindset shift, you begin to see all the ways we're being sold to or upsold to. It's relentless! Opting out of as much of it as possible is a huge tool. 💚💚
The free shipping is such a scam. Living in a small rural mountain town makes it tough to shop so I end up shopping online more than I want. I try to wait until I can lump things together that I actually do need.
Well it may be Sunday where you live but for us here in Toronto it's Saturday (my how time flies, eh?).
I use a few different "hacks" to try to keep my email inbox level to just "enough" (now where did I last hear that word mentioned lately? Oh yes, t'was here!) 😏
Anyway, I use both Outlook as well as Gmail for my email correspondence. Besides yourself I tend to set up email filters. I also use whitelisting and blacklisting of email sources. Another hack to consider, although I personally haven't as yet needed to use it, is the use of email aliases. All of these work well in both Outlook and Gmail. Without going into a lot of techie details here (which is way more than, ahem.., enough), I'll let you (and perhaps other interested readers) google for the usage details as well as pros & cons in using these tools.
Hi Rob! I love all the sharing about email hacks. I tend to be old school and unsubscribe from each one that I no longer want. 🤣one of these days I’ll learn how to do more automation. 😊
Hi Rob! I hope your Sunday was lovely once it arrived! And I really like these email hacks. I have started using email aliases with things I have to sign up for but know I'll end up on unwanted mailing lists, and they seem pretty effective in keeping a lid on the spam. It seems like such a minor thing, but an inbox full of stuff I don't want does take up mental space, it's nice to reclaim some of that isn't it?
I have found that if I think about the resources involved in creating an item it changes my mindset. Every item needs a massive amount of resources; the materials are in some way extracted from the Earth causing damage and pollution, more materials are needed for the packaging, then it has to be transported probably multiple times.
I've decided to always try to find things that I do need secondhand or borrow from someone else (and I love Buy Nothing groups for this).
Where I usually reside it’s Saturday (New York-upstate), however happily at the moment, I’m here in Australia visiting family in QLD and NSW, so, yes, it’s Sunday! I remember It’s a Squash and Squeeze! Good one! Now heading to have a lovely coffee with my 22 year old son, who lives here and who it is sheer delight and joy to see in person! Happy Sunday, all.
I hope you're having the best time Ellen! Tie with family is the best thing ever isn't it? Enjoy your trip and your Australian coffee! (It really is good) 💚💚💚
I continue to pare down the amount of input from outside influences. I’m not interested in adding more to my home or life unless they are functional or beautiful. I’m adding small elements from local artists or the natural environment. I continue to use what I have. The jars that I store my food primarily came from old jars. I love the challenge of finding new ways to use what I have. ❤️
I think that shift - towards not being interested - is a big one too Blythe. For me it's coming more every year, just wanting to do what works for our family rather than what outside influences tell us to want. And I have to say, I really love it! And yes to the jars too - we have a cupboard of them under the sink and use them for everything!
I was just a teenager when I realized that buying stuff was not only hard on the world, but hard on the pocket book. I rarely buy anything just for fun. Usually things I really want will find there way to me. In my early 20s I really wanted a set of magnetic poetry, and just a few years ago someone gave me a set. I only had to wait for 20 years for them to walk through my door. ha.
My big problem is that I also have a hard time getting rid of things, my house is pretty full of mostly junk I got for free.
Happy Sunday 😁
I would say my biggest hack is asking myself "how can I make this work with what I have?" I ask myself this whenever I feel like I need to buy something to complete a task, achieve a thing or to store something differently. You'd be surprised how often I can move something or repurpose something and it does the trick. I fell into this habit when I volunteered for not for profits and didn't want to waste hard-earned donation money on anything but the most important thing and it's followed me into the home and every workplace I've been in. It's probably my only form of creativity 🤣
Oh I love this! There's no replacing that sense of satisfaction is there? Creativity, problem solving, money saving, resource saving - the best!
It’s amazing how often I forget this simple hack. I have a basement and small attic full of little things I don’t know what to do with. Little bowls, enamels pots and picture frames. It’s fun to shop the house first.
Shop the house first - I love that!
I heard the term 'This is nature' from Joseph Goldstein, as a noting exercise to say to yourself and reconnect to the present moment. I apply this when I am feeling pressured to buy or consume something. I say: 'This is marketing' : -)
My shoulders just drooped in relief reading that — "This is marketing." What a powerful little tool to keep in our pockets. Just a reminder that something is being done at us and we don't need to play along if we don't want to. I feel better just reading that, thank you 💚💚💚💚
My hack was to really understand that what I own does not define my worth as a person by really deeply feeling that I am enough. When possessions became just things that I need, with a few wants thrown in too, overconsumption stopped being a path that I was being diverted to.
I feel this right to my core Diane, and I think so much of what we all feel compelled to want is tied up in that not-enoughness. As you said, once you recognised you were enough, things were just things, no longer solutions to problems. That's so powerful 💚
This is such a powerful skill Diane. I realize as I age that I buy less and most of my spending is functional or on experience.
No longer following influencers, limiting my time on algorithms and places where I’m advertised to a lot, not following brands (even ones I really like) and unsubscribing for emails all really helped me! Removing the temptations as much as possible, out of sight out of mind.
Also never adding something to my cart just to reach free shipping or another perk - I realised these were always wastes of money that I never actually used. A small but significant mindset shift for me. Just because it’s free or cheap (especially because half the time you are still spending the money!) doesn’t mean I should have it.
These are so good Jennifer - and hard agree on free shipping! I think once you're able to make that mindset shift, you begin to see all the ways we're being sold to or upsold to. It's relentless! Opting out of as much of it as possible is a huge tool. 💚💚
The free shipping is such a scam. Living in a small rural mountain town makes it tough to shop so I end up shopping online more than I want. I try to wait until I can lump things together that I actually do need.
G'day Brooke !
Well it may be Sunday where you live but for us here in Toronto it's Saturday (my how time flies, eh?).
I use a few different "hacks" to try to keep my email inbox level to just "enough" (now where did I last hear that word mentioned lately? Oh yes, t'was here!) 😏
Anyway, I use both Outlook as well as Gmail for my email correspondence. Besides yourself I tend to set up email filters. I also use whitelisting and blacklisting of email sources. Another hack to consider, although I personally haven't as yet needed to use it, is the use of email aliases. All of these work well in both Outlook and Gmail. Without going into a lot of techie details here (which is way more than, ahem.., enough), I'll let you (and perhaps other interested readers) google for the usage details as well as pros & cons in using these tools.
Enjoy your weekend.
Hi Rob! I love all the sharing about email hacks. I tend to be old school and unsubscribe from each one that I no longer want. 🤣one of these days I’ll learn how to do more automation. 😊
Hi Rob! I hope your Sunday was lovely once it arrived! And I really like these email hacks. I have started using email aliases with things I have to sign up for but know I'll end up on unwanted mailing lists, and they seem pretty effective in keeping a lid on the spam. It seems like such a minor thing, but an inbox full of stuff I don't want does take up mental space, it's nice to reclaim some of that isn't it?
I have found that if I think about the resources involved in creating an item it changes my mindset. Every item needs a massive amount of resources; the materials are in some way extracted from the Earth causing damage and pollution, more materials are needed for the packaging, then it has to be transported probably multiple times.
I've decided to always try to find things that I do need secondhand or borrow from someone else (and I love Buy Nothing groups for this).
It's pretty sobering isn't it. And yes - the satisfaction of finding a second-hand or borrowed solution is so good!
Where I usually reside it’s Saturday (New York-upstate), however happily at the moment, I’m here in Australia visiting family in QLD and NSW, so, yes, it’s Sunday! I remember It’s a Squash and Squeeze! Good one! Now heading to have a lovely coffee with my 22 year old son, who lives here and who it is sheer delight and joy to see in person! Happy Sunday, all.
I hope you're having the best time Ellen! Tie with family is the best thing ever isn't it? Enjoy your trip and your Australian coffee! (It really is good) 💚💚💚
Enjoy your time together ❤️
I continue to pare down the amount of input from outside influences. I’m not interested in adding more to my home or life unless they are functional or beautiful. I’m adding small elements from local artists or the natural environment. I continue to use what I have. The jars that I store my food primarily came from old jars. I love the challenge of finding new ways to use what I have. ❤️
I think that shift - towards not being interested - is a big one too Blythe. For me it's coming more every year, just wanting to do what works for our family rather than what outside influences tell us to want. And I have to say, I really love it! And yes to the jars too - we have a cupboard of them under the sink and use them for everything!
I was just a teenager when I realized that buying stuff was not only hard on the world, but hard on the pocket book. I rarely buy anything just for fun. Usually things I really want will find there way to me. In my early 20s I really wanted a set of magnetic poetry, and just a few years ago someone gave me a set. I only had to wait for 20 years for them to walk through my door. ha.
My big problem is that I also have a hard time getting rid of things, my house is pretty full of mostly junk I got for free.