Quick question: Who has two thumbs and accidentally published this month’s episode of The Tortoise a couple of days early?
*THIS GUY*
(It’s me, I’m the guy.)
Instead of frigging around and unpublishing/republishing, I’m going with it though, which is why you’re getting this week’s letter a day early.
Aside from that, everything else is going swimmingly (though I did get my eyebrows tinted for the first time ever yesterday and…well…it’s a lot.)
Anyway, on with your regularly scheduled programming! Hope you’re well!
B x
(The full transcript of this episode can be found by scrolling to the bottom of this page (but please note it’s AI-generated so accuracy will vary)
Welcome to Episode 6 of The Tortoise, the podcast (plodcast!) that digs deep into the possibilities of slow.
You can listen to the podcast right here, or if you’d prefer, subscribe via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite pod-dealing platform.
Today’s show came at precisely the right moment for Ben and I, recorded in the midst of what’s been a very fast-paced period. I don’t really like talking about things being ‘busy’ or ‘hectic’ because it kind of buys into the hustle culture I try so hard to avoid, but the truth is there will always be times where things are busy and hectic. The difference, I think, is in not glamourising or normalising it, but rather viewing it as part of life — a season of busyness — and trying to find ways to minimise it and navigate it without burning out.
Enter: SELF-CARE! 🎉🎉
Before I get too far into the show notes though, if you’re new here (hello! so glad to have you!) you can sign up to The Tortoise newsletter below to make sure you don’t miss an episode of the pod, and by doing so you’ll also receive a slow-living letter in your inbox every Thursday-ish. I’m stoked to have you here.
Now, on with the plod!
The Topic: Self-care
For a term we throw around a lot, self-care is not all that well defined. It’s attached loosely to the ideas of wellness, self-help, relaxation and mindfulness, and so often comes to us packaged, commoditised and ready to be bought/sold.
We start today’s episode by trying to define self-care, and I eventually land on one that is as broad and inclusive as possible:
Self-care can be anything that leaves us feeling cared for or supported from within.
From there, we dig deeper into our own experiences of self-care, including:
the difference between ‘inward-focused’ and ‘outward-focused’ self-care, and why it’s important to have a list of strategies that cover both types
how we make time for self-care
the different ways we both practise it (or try to)
what constitutes ‘boring self-care’
weird little rituals (think: opening the curtains and clearing the kitchen bench) that wouldn’t normally be classified as self-care but fill the gap on the busy days
the parts of self-care we struggle with
what we’d like to improve on and how
I’ve found myself thinking a lot about this chat since we recorded it, and I know that there’s lots more to explore when it comes to redefining and reclaiming self-care, personally. Hopefully you find similar permission to rethink it for you. If you do, please let me know in the comments — I’m fascinated by our individual experiences of self-care.
Writing as self-care: An online retreat
I briefly mention in today’s ep that the next online retreat for paying subs is on the topic of Writing as self-care. I’m super excited to offer this three-week retreat next month, as writing is still my all-time favourite self-care tool and I’d love to explore it with you.
If you’re already a paying subscriber to The Tortoise (thank you! 💚) you don’t have to do anything. The retreat will be released every Sunday morning for three weeks and will include a video, worksheets and writing prompts. I’m still ironing out the details, but we will cover:
Why we write: the benefits, the reasons, the stories we tell ourselves about putting words to pages — and how to reframe them through the lens of self-care.
How we write: exploring the many different modes of writing that we can add to our self-care strategies, and why you might want to play around with some new writing practises.
When to write: looking at different ways to find time for self-care writing, how to write in the cracks, and how to show up even when the blank page is scary.
If you’re not a paying member of The Tortoise, but this sounds like something you’d like to be part of, you can join us for AU$5/month or AU$50/year and receive access to all my online retreats, the full Tortoise archive and several Sunday posts each month.
The Reflection: Resilience vs feeling your feelings
I recently wrote a post about toxic positivity that seemed to resonate with a lot of people, and in this month’s reflection section, talk about a specific comment I received on that post from reader, Holly.
I find when i’m trying to ‘console’ or just go through my own negative emotions I struggle with this balance of letting myself feel the negativity without wallowing in it, and trying to be resilient against it but without denying my rights to feel sad. You briefly mention that resilience and a positive attitude has a place but I’d be interested in what you mean by this and how to not get it confused with suppressing emotions?
It’s such a juicy topic — how to discern between resilience, suppressing our emotions and toxic positivity — and Ben and I try our best to parse out our thoughts on it.
For me I think resilience is not so much about ‘toughing it out’ as it is about ‘softening into it’, but also recognise that there needs to be space for both grit and gentleness. I also think that the term resilience has been used so much for so long that it’s lost a lot of its meaning (a bit like self-care, really) which means we now get to redefine it for ourselves.
No doubt there needs to be space for resilience and a positive attitude, but I also think that allowing ourselves space to feel our feelings — no matter how challenging they are — gives us the opportunity to explore the fullness of being human.
Thank you so much, Holly, for asking such a brilliant question, and I hope there’s some food for thought there for you too.
The Links
Below is a list of links discussed in today’s episode. If I’ve forgotten any, please let me know in the comments:
Self-care definitions — VeryWell Health
Grab a copy of my third book, where I dig deep into the roots of self-care and how to make it accessible to everyone and every body — CARE: The radical art of taking time
Are there downsides to resilience? — The Resilience Institute
The full transcript of this episode can be found by scrolling to the bottom of this page (but please note it’s AI-generated so accuracy will vary)
Subscribe to the podcast in your favourite app (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, etc)
I hope you enjoy this month’s episode, and if you have any thoughts or suggestions, let me know in the comments.
Until next week, take good care 🤓
Brooke xx
Self-care: Episode 6