I was completely surprised to hear that soy is a pleasure bringing food. I have developed an allergy to it and have discovered it is in almost everything that comes in a package (tomato sauce, most gluten free products). I always thought it was because it is cheap but maybe it is other reasons.
Small pleasures
-watching my senior dog splash in the lake
-the one week of the year where the trillium’s scent fills the air
Me too Kristen! I'd actually always heard it mentioned as a health-negative or an additive to UPFs, but maybe there is another reason it's in everything (feel good hormones being released?) That would make an allergy a huge inconvenience though, I'm so sorry!
I love love love your list of pleasures too! It's amazing just how many of them are sensory, for most of us. Such a reminder to dig deeper into what we're feeling. 💚
I believe that was me that suggested pleasure as a topic! Thank you so much for taking the time to record your thoughts on the subject. I agree Brooke, the pleasure that you’re suggesting to pay attention to is rebellious and in many ways countercultural. It reminds me of The Art of Frugal Hedonism. I love how Annie advocates looking for pleasure in the small everyday things that we do and have. If we can begin to do that, then we start to break the cycle of needing to earn as much money to pay for expensive things/experiences with the hope they’ll bring us pleasure. I can see why you talked about social media being something that ultimately robs us of pleasure. It’s a hard one to give up! But I’m going to ponder it more. Thanks again, Brooke and Ben!
Oh yay, I'm so glad you popped in to tell me Jess! I looked for your comment for ages but couldn't find it. Thank YOU for suggesting such a great topic — I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been on my mind for months and has had such a profound impact on the things I pay attention to. Thank you also for reminding me to include Annie's book in the links. I thought I already had (but maybe I mentioned her somewhere else instead? I can't remember now 😭). I interviewed her years ago for the Slow Home pod and it's one of the conversations I still reflect on a lot.
It's such an interesting conundrum isn't it — seeking pleasure in things and content, and annoyingly, finding it at least in the short-term — versus stripping some of that away and making space for different, maybe more sustainable pleasures.
I love that we're all thinking about it though. It feels like we're collectively reclaiming pleasure and I'm so excited to see what the ripples might look like. 💚💚
I love how thoughtful your responses are Brooke, and how deeply you think about topics. It really comes through in what you write and your podcasts. I found it interesting that Ben struggled to see how pleasure was linked to rebellious living, and do agree that there is more shame and guilt for women than men around pursuing pleasure over other responsibilities. That’s a big topic in itself. So much to think about!
I am so glad that you suggested this topic. It was very thought provoking. I believe that noticing and paying attention brings a richness to my life. It is rebellious to turn off the phone and lift your head to actually look around.
Couldn't agree more Blythe - there is a part of me that glows every time I'm waiting in line or at the doctors and my phone stays in my bag. Similarly when we're in nature or experiencing something beautiful, I absorb it so differently when there's no screen.
Thanks for the thoughtful episode on pleasure, I listened to it today while cooking a special dinner and the timing was perfect.
I find no problems in finding pleasure in small things:
1. Autumn leaves in vivid red;
2. The waft of jasmine from over the fence;
3. A labrador's nose searching for food;
4. Reading a mystery book by a fire;
5. Cuddles with my kids before bed.
That said, I find it very hard to encourage my kids to seek pleasure without us spending lots of money. My son turned 10 today and I encouraged him to do pass the day without us spending a lot of money. What he ended up coming up with was a trip to the market to buy food for us to cook for a special dinner together, a family board game and an at home movie.
Oof, I hear you on this Sarah. So much of what's marketed as family fun, or things kids should want cost money, and often at the expense of time together. I love that you encouraged your son to think about it differently, and that he chose to cook a meal together! I remember speaking to a woman once who didn't give her grandchildren birthday presents, but instead spent the day with them. Then, when they were older, she'd take them on a one-on-one trip. She'd been hiking and canoeing with them over hte years and it always struck me as the gift we all want more of but are rarely able to find - time together. Sounds like you're creating similar memories with your family 💚💚
He Brooke and Ben, I agree on all the sources of pleasure you describe and want to add one. Realising that we live in a very prosperous society that lives beyond the capacity of the earth makes me very great full. In that light doing something that support the environment, but also doing something that is so normal to us but also "extra" gives me lots of pleasure. Something like spending the money to be able to buy organic food. But also we've travelled a long time by train. Now we have a car for six years and each time I use it, it still gives me pleasure to experience that kind of convenience and freedom. And If I pay attention this, to me it's applicable to so many things and almost a constant stream of pleasure.
I have also a question, I'm paying for the Tortoise but am not included in the 1% thread. Is it possible that you forgot to turn on my subscription?
I love this reframe of pleasure, Melian! Making sure not to take for granted the conveniences we have is so important and likely a good way of not falling into the trap of always chasing more too.
As for your question on the 1% thread, I think there have been some issues in the back end on my side. I'll try another this week but it should be working as your subscription is active. Thank you for letting me know! 💚
I think that 'pleasure' is on the whole is definitely counterculture. We are pushed into working hard and long that we don't take the time to notice, experience or seek pleasure in large or tiny forms. It almost seems we need to be taught how to find and take pleasure nowadays.
For myself, I find pleasure in my drawing, as well as satisfaction.
A sad sweet pleasure in my old dog and ensuring she enjoys what time she has left, making her happy.
Going out on dog friendly hikes with my dog, noticing the way he enjoys the hikes encourages me to look more deeply at the surroundings we travel through.
Opening a book and smelling the ink & paper. Not something I do as often as I'd like because I do read on the iPad a lot.
Taking a drive somewhere new with no real destination, just exploring and being able to stop whenever i want when something catches my eye, this leads to new destinations I would never have gone to before and the joy in discovering something new.
About to listen to the podcast, but read your thoughts first and thought I'd reply.
Oh, your pleasure and joy in spending time with your old dog is so sweet and poignant Lisa. We lost our old boy Cash last year and his last days were so important.
I agree with you 100% that pleasure, especially the ones freely available to us, is counter cultural. We value things that need to be paid for, forgetting how powerful the simple ones can be. I'm hoping to reclaim some of that in my life and genuinely loved the chat Ben and I had. Hopefully you got something out of it too. 💚
I felt cought in the act when you mentioned in the plodcast people like to clean while listening to it. It's a shame The Tortois is only released once a month, my house could be much cleaner if you made more episodes. ;-D But on a more serious note, I can indeed recommend listening to this specific episode while doing house chores because it reminded me to take a moment and notice the pleasure of having completed each little task. Thank you for including the satisfaction of having done a thing on the list of pleasures, I think this is such a rebellious act that could make many people chasing possessions a lot happier.
😆😆 We once did a survey of podcast listeners and cleaning was the top activity that people did while listening. And I totally get it - it makes things pass much more quickly when we're listening in on a good chat.
So glad you resonated with the satisfaction of completing a task too. For me I think that's an undervalued source of genuine pleasure that requires nothing more of us than a little bit of attention.
I haven’t listened to the plodcast yet, but wanted to share a meme I read this week. It basically said instead of thinking of something as a guilty pleasure or treat, thinking of yourself as an army (for example) and the ‘treat’ is actually to boost morale. To me this almost makes it sound like pleasure and self care are productive!
My morale boosting activity today was letting go and watching a movie while my sick son slept in my arms the whole time
Ok, I love this Sarah. This coffee in the sun? Morale boosting! Eating a delicious orange? Morale boosting! Taking a bath? Morale boosting! It totally adds power to the argument that all of these things (pleasure, self-care, rest) are productive, just in ways we're not well-equipped to notice or value yet. But we'll get there!
I know this comment was a few days ago but I really hope you enjoyed that time with your son and that he's feeling better now. 💚
This Podcast really resonated with me and I have been discussing it with my friends and family. I think we are conditioned to seek pleasure that involves spending money. It was Mother’s Day last weekend, and my pleasure seeking activity was to hike with my kiddo. It brought a deep sense of calm and connection. Many of the typical pleasures seem to include pampering and spa dates. Of course that would be lovely, but there are many other small ways to experience pleasure. Sometimes I do feel like I am rebelling against the capitalism of self care and pleasure. It does take awareness to notice and connect to what we need at any given moment. It takes slowing down, breathing and feeling. What a bigger gift to be present in our lives. Thanks again.
Yep, I agree with this so much. We value those things that cost money and somehow devalue the freely available things, as though they couldn't possibly hold as much enjoyment. I think the one thing most of us want (or at least say we want) is time, but instead we buy things as a placeholder. Maybe we're subconsciously worried that the recipient of the gift will think we're cheap? I don't know. It's so interesting to see how deep our capitialist conditioning goes though isn't it?
Jodi! It's so brilliant to see you here. And I agree. I think so many of the other, more practical changes that look like slow living really stem from creating and honoring that space for tiny, simple pleasures. Not only does it teach us to treasure them, but it also gives us a reason to let go of some of the other stuff we hold on to. 💚💚
I had to laugh at the opposite approaches to defining pleasure with you heading for the dictionary definition and Ben's man response of "food, sex and sports" 🤣
I think a lot of things I count as pleasure rely on me paying attention to the small things:
-Seeing a butterfly (I'm very lucky that I see the big blue Ulysses butterflies quite often)
-Picking a specific song or album to listen to uninterrupted
-I know it's a big thing but gigs make my heart sing
Thank you for this great episode. My pleasure combo is knitting while listening to audiobooks. After listening to you, I think I might add more fantasy books to my list. :)
I was completely surprised to hear that soy is a pleasure bringing food. I have developed an allergy to it and have discovered it is in almost everything that comes in a package (tomato sauce, most gluten free products). I always thought it was because it is cheap but maybe it is other reasons.
Small pleasures
-watching my senior dog splash in the lake
-the one week of the year where the trillium’s scent fills the air
-the brief moment the floors are clean
-an empty sink
-clean sheets
-completing work tasks
-making lists
-hearing the bumble bees in the Apple blossoms
-watching the deer bounce across the field
-the crunch of leaves or snow
-warm Sun on my face after days and days of rain
The list could go on and on
I think noticing the small things is rebellious.
Thanks as always
Me too Kristen! I'd actually always heard it mentioned as a health-negative or an additive to UPFs, but maybe there is another reason it's in everything (feel good hormones being released?) That would make an allergy a huge inconvenience though, I'm so sorry!
I love love love your list of pleasures too! It's amazing just how many of them are sensory, for most of us. Such a reminder to dig deeper into what we're feeling. 💚
I believe that was me that suggested pleasure as a topic! Thank you so much for taking the time to record your thoughts on the subject. I agree Brooke, the pleasure that you’re suggesting to pay attention to is rebellious and in many ways countercultural. It reminds me of The Art of Frugal Hedonism. I love how Annie advocates looking for pleasure in the small everyday things that we do and have. If we can begin to do that, then we start to break the cycle of needing to earn as much money to pay for expensive things/experiences with the hope they’ll bring us pleasure. I can see why you talked about social media being something that ultimately robs us of pleasure. It’s a hard one to give up! But I’m going to ponder it more. Thanks again, Brooke and Ben!
Oh yay, I'm so glad you popped in to tell me Jess! I looked for your comment for ages but couldn't find it. Thank YOU for suggesting such a great topic — I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been on my mind for months and has had such a profound impact on the things I pay attention to. Thank you also for reminding me to include Annie's book in the links. I thought I already had (but maybe I mentioned her somewhere else instead? I can't remember now 😭). I interviewed her years ago for the Slow Home pod and it's one of the conversations I still reflect on a lot.
It's such an interesting conundrum isn't it — seeking pleasure in things and content, and annoyingly, finding it at least in the short-term — versus stripping some of that away and making space for different, maybe more sustainable pleasures.
I love that we're all thinking about it though. It feels like we're collectively reclaiming pleasure and I'm so excited to see what the ripples might look like. 💚💚
I love how thoughtful your responses are Brooke, and how deeply you think about topics. It really comes through in what you write and your podcasts. I found it interesting that Ben struggled to see how pleasure was linked to rebellious living, and do agree that there is more shame and guilt for women than men around pursuing pleasure over other responsibilities. That’s a big topic in itself. So much to think about!
I am so glad that you suggested this topic. It was very thought provoking. I believe that noticing and paying attention brings a richness to my life. It is rebellious to turn off the phone and lift your head to actually look around.
Couldn't agree more Blythe - there is a part of me that glows every time I'm waiting in line or at the doctors and my phone stays in my bag. Similarly when we're in nature or experiencing something beautiful, I absorb it so differently when there's no screen.
Thanks for the thoughtful episode on pleasure, I listened to it today while cooking a special dinner and the timing was perfect.
I find no problems in finding pleasure in small things:
1. Autumn leaves in vivid red;
2. The waft of jasmine from over the fence;
3. A labrador's nose searching for food;
4. Reading a mystery book by a fire;
5. Cuddles with my kids before bed.
That said, I find it very hard to encourage my kids to seek pleasure without us spending lots of money. My son turned 10 today and I encouraged him to do pass the day without us spending a lot of money. What he ended up coming up with was a trip to the market to buy food for us to cook for a special dinner together, a family board game and an at home movie.
Thanks again, keep up the great work!
Oof, I hear you on this Sarah. So much of what's marketed as family fun, or things kids should want cost money, and often at the expense of time together. I love that you encouraged your son to think about it differently, and that he chose to cook a meal together! I remember speaking to a woman once who didn't give her grandchildren birthday presents, but instead spent the day with them. Then, when they were older, she'd take them on a one-on-one trip. She'd been hiking and canoeing with them over hte years and it always struck me as the gift we all want more of but are rarely able to find - time together. Sounds like you're creating similar memories with your family 💚💚
He Brooke and Ben, I agree on all the sources of pleasure you describe and want to add one. Realising that we live in a very prosperous society that lives beyond the capacity of the earth makes me very great full. In that light doing something that support the environment, but also doing something that is so normal to us but also "extra" gives me lots of pleasure. Something like spending the money to be able to buy organic food. But also we've travelled a long time by train. Now we have a car for six years and each time I use it, it still gives me pleasure to experience that kind of convenience and freedom. And If I pay attention this, to me it's applicable to so many things and almost a constant stream of pleasure.
I have also a question, I'm paying for the Tortoise but am not included in the 1% thread. Is it possible that you forgot to turn on my subscription?
I love this reframe of pleasure, Melian! Making sure not to take for granted the conveniences we have is so important and likely a good way of not falling into the trap of always chasing more too.
As for your question on the 1% thread, I think there have been some issues in the back end on my side. I'll try another this week but it should be working as your subscription is active. Thank you for letting me know! 💚
I think that 'pleasure' is on the whole is definitely counterculture. We are pushed into working hard and long that we don't take the time to notice, experience or seek pleasure in large or tiny forms. It almost seems we need to be taught how to find and take pleasure nowadays.
For myself, I find pleasure in my drawing, as well as satisfaction.
A sad sweet pleasure in my old dog and ensuring she enjoys what time she has left, making her happy.
Going out on dog friendly hikes with my dog, noticing the way he enjoys the hikes encourages me to look more deeply at the surroundings we travel through.
Opening a book and smelling the ink & paper. Not something I do as often as I'd like because I do read on the iPad a lot.
Taking a drive somewhere new with no real destination, just exploring and being able to stop whenever i want when something catches my eye, this leads to new destinations I would never have gone to before and the joy in discovering something new.
About to listen to the podcast, but read your thoughts first and thought I'd reply.
Thank you. :)
Oh, your pleasure and joy in spending time with your old dog is so sweet and poignant Lisa. We lost our old boy Cash last year and his last days were so important.
I agree with you 100% that pleasure, especially the ones freely available to us, is counter cultural. We value things that need to be paid for, forgetting how powerful the simple ones can be. I'm hoping to reclaim some of that in my life and genuinely loved the chat Ben and I had. Hopefully you got something out of it too. 💚
I felt cought in the act when you mentioned in the plodcast people like to clean while listening to it. It's a shame The Tortois is only released once a month, my house could be much cleaner if you made more episodes. ;-D But on a more serious note, I can indeed recommend listening to this specific episode while doing house chores because it reminded me to take a moment and notice the pleasure of having completed each little task. Thank you for including the satisfaction of having done a thing on the list of pleasures, I think this is such a rebellious act that could make many people chasing possessions a lot happier.
😆😆 We once did a survey of podcast listeners and cleaning was the top activity that people did while listening. And I totally get it - it makes things pass much more quickly when we're listening in on a good chat.
So glad you resonated with the satisfaction of completing a task too. For me I think that's an undervalued source of genuine pleasure that requires nothing more of us than a little bit of attention.
Thanks so much for listening! 💚💚
I haven’t listened to the plodcast yet, but wanted to share a meme I read this week. It basically said instead of thinking of something as a guilty pleasure or treat, thinking of yourself as an army (for example) and the ‘treat’ is actually to boost morale. To me this almost makes it sound like pleasure and self care are productive!
My morale boosting activity today was letting go and watching a movie while my sick son slept in my arms the whole time
Ok, I love this Sarah. This coffee in the sun? Morale boosting! Eating a delicious orange? Morale boosting! Taking a bath? Morale boosting! It totally adds power to the argument that all of these things (pleasure, self-care, rest) are productive, just in ways we're not well-equipped to notice or value yet. But we'll get there!
I know this comment was a few days ago but I really hope you enjoyed that time with your son and that he's feeling better now. 💚
Thanks Brooke. He is back to his happy self, but now I have his germs 🙄 definitely focussing on morale boosting this week!
Thanks Blythe! That is very succinctly said, you’re right, it is rebellious to turn off your phone and look around. I’ll remember that!
This Podcast really resonated with me and I have been discussing it with my friends and family. I think we are conditioned to seek pleasure that involves spending money. It was Mother’s Day last weekend, and my pleasure seeking activity was to hike with my kiddo. It brought a deep sense of calm and connection. Many of the typical pleasures seem to include pampering and spa dates. Of course that would be lovely, but there are many other small ways to experience pleasure. Sometimes I do feel like I am rebelling against the capitalism of self care and pleasure. It does take awareness to notice and connect to what we need at any given moment. It takes slowing down, breathing and feeling. What a bigger gift to be present in our lives. Thanks again.
Yep, I agree with this so much. We value those things that cost money and somehow devalue the freely available things, as though they couldn't possibly hold as much enjoyment. I think the one thing most of us want (or at least say we want) is time, but instead we buy things as a placeholder. Maybe we're subconsciously worried that the recipient of the gift will think we're cheap? I don't know. It's so interesting to see how deep our capitialist conditioning goes though isn't it?
Paying attention to small pleasures is literally ‘slow living’ to me. Can’t wait to listen to this chat on my walk today x
Jodi! It's so brilliant to see you here. And I agree. I think so many of the other, more practical changes that look like slow living really stem from creating and honoring that space for tiny, simple pleasures. Not only does it teach us to treasure them, but it also gives us a reason to let go of some of the other stuff we hold on to. 💚💚
I had to laugh at the opposite approaches to defining pleasure with you heading for the dictionary definition and Ben's man response of "food, sex and sports" 🤣
I think a lot of things I count as pleasure rely on me paying attention to the small things:
-Seeing a butterfly (I'm very lucky that I see the big blue Ulysses butterflies quite often)
-Picking a specific song or album to listen to uninterrupted
-I know it's a big thing but gigs make my heart sing
-Spending time hanging out with my cat and/or dog
-Solar charging in the morning sun on the couch
-stopping to watch a nice sunset
-walking barefoot around the botanic gardens
-squishy hugs with my partner
Thank you for this great episode. My pleasure combo is knitting while listening to audiobooks. After listening to you, I think I might add more fantasy books to my list. :)