20 Comments
Jun 5Liked by Brooke McAlary

Thanks for this post Brooke. It resonated with me as I always feel I’m the odd one out not caring about a lot of the nuances that make up society today. I’m constantly struggling to not fall into the flow of the tide with everyone else. I just can’t be bothered trying so hard. I’d prefer to be covered in dirt in my garden than getting my nails done at the salon. Maybe I’m accepting it more as I get older. I’m about 10 years younger than you, and I think now being in mid thirties I’m just starting to care less and less about keeping up with the Jones’ and trying to find peace with that.

Love your emails and podcast! X

Expand full comment
author

So glad to hear this Brooke! It's funny, I think I found this topic kind of tough to work through because of what you share here. The vast majority of what constitutes a "should" are things I really don't care much about. For me age has definitely made that even more pronounced and it is hands-down one of my favourite things about getting older. It's not an aggressive kind of "I don't even care" like it was when I was in my twenties. It's more a genuine, peaceful letting go. It's the best! 💚

Expand full comment
Jun 6Liked by Brooke McAlary

Once I understood that I wasn’t broken, that I didn’t need fixing, that I had everything I need inside of me, I didn’t have to try at liking myself. It just happened naturally.

Expand full comment
author

This is so beautiful and so powerful Olga. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes the biggest shifts are the simplest (if not necessarily the easiest to make!) 💚💚

Expand full comment

Beautiful writing Brooke - I'm the proud owner of hair with a silver streak and a belly "that hangs softly over my jeans" :) What an extraordinary body - I am in awe of the miracle of it everyday, the interconnected system complexity of it all, even when it doesn't work so well - I did a drawing a few years ago, before L'il Bean, of my wrinkly face - the definition of wrinkles: "The lines where the memories are stored" - like an LP. No botox in my memories thanks! xo

Expand full comment
author

Me too Gill! The older I get and the more my body has carried me through, the more awe I have for her. Sure, I mean there are parts that don't work like I hoped they would, but what an organism, eh? It's one of the utter pleasures and privileges of getting older I think. 💚💚

Expand full comment
Jun 5Liked by Brooke McAlary

It’s the old create a problem and then sell us the solution marketing ploy.

Expand full comment
author

It's a classic isn't it? The peace I feel when I let it all slide off me is worth more than anything they can sell. 💚

Expand full comment

Yes that’s it, peacefulness and inner calm. I find staying offline as much as possible the biggest help in letting it go.

Expand full comment
Jun 9Liked by Brooke McAlary

Great article Brooke! I love the line ‘I like myself enough to say no to this’ and think I need to borrow it and use it often (or its variation that another comment mentioned - I like myself enough to say yes to this!). This year I am trying to ‘invest in myself’ - by not overspending, starting to workout to get stronger and healthier, and so on. But it can be hard in the moment to keep to plans, or not slide back into old habits. This feels like a little shield to deploy at such moments!

Expand full comment

Hello there. I read this in my car before doing flowers for a local cafe which is one of my ways of giving back to the universe (ie I am paid in thanks and a free meal not $$). You caught me wondering why I do this in an already busy day snd life. Thank you for reminding me!

Expand full comment
author

Helen! So lovely to see you! And you're very welcome. Thank YOU for putting more goodness into the world. 💚

Expand full comment
Jun 6Liked by Brooke McAlary

A genuine struggle for myself and I imagine many others. Feel there’s often not many valuable resources on this. Thanks for sharing 😊

Expand full comment
author

You're definitely not alone in that, Tim. I'm really glad this struck a chord with you. If it helps I do feel like a certain amount of freedom comes as we get older, but man I could have benefited from hearing this stuff when I was a kid and in my twenties.

Expand full comment

These are my favourite words from your writing today Brooke (with my own additions in brackets!)

I like myself enough to say no to this (or yes!)

I like myself enough to find contentment, right here (and not over there.)

I like myself enough to be enough (and yes, I am already enough.)

As an aside, I am doing some pretty powerful inner growth work at the moment - finding my way through many years of playing small and timid and really not letting myself go. I have feared being too much, of overdoing it, over overwhelm and I guess even worried about falling in a heap.

I am feeling more and more free from the old Cherie... she has served me well, kept me safe, and now it's time to open up a little more, take a few risks, get brave and curious and see what happens. I care a lot less about the opinion of others, it was mostly my own limiting self beliefs that were really holding me back.

And now... let's see what happens!

Love Cherie

Expand full comment

Radical acceptance is rebellion 💚🤗

Expand full comment

Thanks, your words felt like a shield to my soul. Have a good week, Brooke

Expand full comment
Jul 4·edited Jul 4

What a breath of fresh air ☺️ Thank you for pushing back. Thank you for writing about it - again! Thank you for being YOU Brooke 😘a

Expand full comment

I could not agree more Brooke. Discontentment is a marketing tool. It is also a tool to keep women in their ‘place’ in this patriarchal society. While we can rebel about using hair dye, the laundry pile and my favourite rebellions, Botox and fillers, I also rebel being controlled by a gender that has been taught that they are entitled to do whatever they want. We are paying the price with our lives. Sunday rebellion ‘tick’!

Expand full comment

I am accepting myself as me - how radical and amazing does that feel!

Working out what me means and what me needs...and looking forward to all my me is.

Expand full comment