I know I already commented but one more thought. I really bought into the minimalist idea that if you strip everything away, get rid of the unnecessary, that your true meaning and purpose would come to you and you would know what to do with the empty space, but I didn’t. I actually found myself just numb and empty and guilty for wanting more. I think there’s definitely another way
I leaned this way for a while too. In times of stress and overwhelm, I thought that declutter was the answer to all my problems. I realize it was my attempt to control life. Ha! No such luck, even if I removed everything from the house.
Hi Brooke, I really enjoyed this newsletter. Having witnessed your journey and read your books, I always loved the idea of minimalism as a means to reduce the anxiety I felt from having too much clutter and stuff, however I could never sustain / maintain minimalism with two young girls. This post is exactly the reason. I really relate to and appreciate your acknowledgment of the enjoyment stuff can bring as an alternative / happy medium. For me it’s a reminder that we should have stuff not because someone else tells us that it will make us better (thanks Instagram for that), but because it makes us feel good when no one else is looking. Intentional purchasing is where I think I have landed, and really considering what is compelling me to want something - internal conviction or external influences. Love your work, and loving the Olympics too!
Thanks for mentioning the part social media plays in our consumption habits. It is so easy to be jealous and crave what others have. That is they cue for me to get off IG and come back to my own interests and desires. Always a balance.
I listened to nearly every episode of the slow home podcast and now I don’t have to hit Listen because I can hear your gorgeous voice in my head as I read. I love all of this and I’m in a similar place. I stripped right back with you 10 years ago, got rid of most things, had my children amongst multiple health crises and have wound up very lost and burnt out. I got to the point where I couldn’t buy anything for myself without guilt. I think I’m ready to move on now, but like you I want to do it carefully and mindfully, I want the joy without keeping up with anyone else. I can’t wait to hear more 💛
The SYH podcast was a weekly treat for me. It came at the perfect time in my life. I recently moved to a new area and didn't have any friends. I felt connected to a community and a friend when the Pod was released. I found myself learning about bamboo underwear (still wearing them), sustainable living, decluttering and exposing me to different people living amazing and inspiring lives. I now take those lessons and apply them to my life without harsh judgment and criticism. Doesn't if feel great to let that go?
I really like the idea of minimalism as an overcorrection from overconsumption, and that there’s a balance somewhere in between. I’ve also been on the ‘cull everything, find peace’ journey, also after becoming a parent, and I definitely think there’s more joy in the middle ground than in either extreme. ❤️
I am glad that you found the middle ground earlier than I did. Mine are in their 20's and their trophies, Star Wars and Playmobile toys take up precious space in the attic. I secretly dream of passing them on to Goodwill, but that is not fair. They can choose later when they are ready. In the past, I was a bit crabby about wanting to get rid of their "crap". I am glad to be past that phase. Not very nice!
Yes this is definitely a balance for me personally! I am absolutely nowhere with the kids’ stuff! 😂 Mine are still small, but we already have boxes and boxes of artwork and two years’ worth of school work and soooooo many clothes!! It’s taken up all the space I made from my decluttering 😂
Love this! I’m on much the same trajectory. I was a big collector of things when I was younger and modelled a lot off my mum who is a big ‘therapy shopper’. When I moved into my own place, I pared right down after seeing how my mum struggled to manage all her stuff. I got very into minimalism and no buys and living with what I had, partly with a sustainability and financial focus too. Now im coming back around to seeing how stuff can be a positive when sourced intentionally. I love a Wishlist but im still not great at actually making the purchase, I’d love to let go of the guilt a bit. I think it’s part of looking after myself and feeling like I can deserve some nice things occasionally.
I watch a lot of Hannah Louise Poston on YouTube, she’s fantastic. She often says the goal is “fewer nicer things” and is a big proponent of having beautiful things in your life but still being a mindful consumer.
Thank you for sharing about the guilt. Since money is tight, I wait and wait to buy something...even if I need it. I look around and feel that I have so much already. But I do need shoes and a bra. Sometimes, I need to audibly remind myself that I can buy things that I want, that are pretty or just functional.
Hi Brooke, I'm fairly new to your Substack and it's really interesting for me to read your summaries of your past journeys and where they've brought you. I think the key to joy is to curate your life around what feels authentic - minimalists find joy in their choices, and so do maximialists because we all have different tastes and needs. I lean towards simple and functional with a little bit of dopamine thrown into the mix. That way it's not cluttered (I hate clutter) and it's not cold or utilitarian - it works for me and I'm glad you've found your middle ground too. Keep encouraging us to find our right fit - it brings such a sense of peace and contentment when we do. :)
HI! I like the middle ground too. If a place is too cluttered, I itch and can't focus. My mother-in-law's house is crammed with every knick-knack known to man. It is amazing. I respect that it is her space, but I always come home and remove more things from the house. 🤣
I’m so excited that you’re focusing on this topic, Brooke! It’s perfect timing as I go through my belongings before moving next year. Trying to figure out what to keep, what not to keep and what I may need to buy, is a very real quest for me right now. I delved quite heavily into minimalism a few years ago until it felt too restrictive. Trying to find a balance is tricky, but I agree that coming from a place where you’re happy within yourself makes it easier to understand what serves you and what doesn’t or no longer does.
Good luck with the move! That is the best time to look and assess what you have. We kept an apartment for years and the deal was that none of it was coming home. Well, we filled a small truck and brought it back. My hubby just can't let things go. Instead of fighting about it, I keep my things trim. I notice a shift when he spends a week at his Mom's house. Her place is a hoarder's dream. I usually can remove some unnecessary things once we return home. I finally understand that it is a constant process of acquiring and removing.
It’s great that you’ve been able to strike that balance at least with your own things and also allow your husband to have his own journey with possessions. I could imagine that wouldn’t be easy 😂
Ha. I am learning the lesson of letting go of control. I just keep doing what I want to do with my things and it helps lessen the desire to mess with his. I do secretly wish that he would toss some things. Old soda bottles and tools would be a place to start. 🤣
I have too much stuff and think a lot about where it will go (much of it is stuff I took from loved ones homes). There are many times that bring joy and I use so for now I am ok with this.
It is most definitely ok to find joy in things ~ the things that are left in that balanced middle ground where we settle after the pendulum swings between too much and, quite frankly, too little. I've never swung wildly in either direction but am definitely on the "could do with a spot of decluttering" side! It is happening, albeit slowly.
I was really put off minimalism, certainly the ultra variety, after I'd been in too many homes with no books! Or at least none on display. How can there be no books?! There's no Kondo-style tidying them away in cupboards for me:)
As always, your letters are thought-provoking and a joy to read. As are the comments ~ what a community! ❤️
I agree with you about the books. We have a tiny house and space is limited, but there are bookshelves. When I attempted to sort through the kids' old books, only a couple went to Goodwill. They were thoughtfully purchased, in good condition and they are lovely.
Brooke, I love this post. I agree with it all. For me it was consumerism to make me feel more/worthy and then when I worked through the stuff that had me operating that way, I gave away so much, totally minimalist. In my family the story of giving away the dining table and chairs because I was looking to soon move somewhere smaller once all the kids had moved out, is legendary. It took me 3 years to finally move out and I was hosting family gatherings with a BYO trestle or picnic table clause. I literally swung from one extreme to the other. Now I’ve found my happy medium, making sustainable knitwear that I can pass on to my daughter. Only replacing what is worn out, not just because something prettier or shinier has caught my eye. Going through a small health issue at the moment so moving freely is hard. Instead of visiting the Art Gallery of NSW, I’m looking at the pieces of art that I’ve bought and have been gifted to me with new eyes. It’s not the same but it’s what I can do, for now.
That is wonderful that you are finding joy in the art in your home. I live in a tiny town in the mountains, and I rely on the outdoors to inspire me and bring me joy. The wall space is limited, but I have lots of windows to gaze outside. I realize that I don't need much to keep me company or entertain me. Books, something to knit, sketchbooks to mess about in, and a clean kitchen. I do crave a new kitchen table and a cozy chair. We only have one soft chair in the house and my hubby has taken it over. I need to buy two that can be placed right in front of the wood stove...just like the places in Wind in the Willows. Take care and I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you Brooke for the post, and I love the pictures. Isn't it interesting to look at our possessions laid out or packed in a car? I notice this whenever I take a trip by car. It is an interesting experiment to see what matters to me when I pack. At the last minute, I always manage to add one more sketchbook, pens, a book, and tarot cards. If I am ambitious I'll even tuck in some knitting. I tend to take fewer clothes and more things to keep me entertained...especially when I'm visiting my mother-in-law. I am constantly looking around at things to get rid of. For me, it stems from wanting to travel. I want to get the house paired down, clean, and organized so I can leave for months at a time. I'm not interested in buying throw pillows or matching my sheets. I detest shopping, which amazes my mom as it is her favorite activity. At 82, her walk-in closets are full of clothes and shoes. As my parents consider downsizing to move into an assisted living situation, they are frozen. It will be challenging for them to declutter and choose what goes. I am grateful that I am not attached to most of the items in my house. All the years of listening and being a part of your journey have contributed to my current attitude and state of living. Thank you for openly sharing your story and creating a warm, inviting space to learn and grow in.
I know I already commented but one more thought. I really bought into the minimalist idea that if you strip everything away, get rid of the unnecessary, that your true meaning and purpose would come to you and you would know what to do with the empty space, but I didn’t. I actually found myself just numb and empty and guilty for wanting more. I think there’s definitely another way
I leaned this way for a while too. In times of stress and overwhelm, I thought that declutter was the answer to all my problems. I realize it was my attempt to control life. Ha! No such luck, even if I removed everything from the house.
Hi Brooke, I really enjoyed this newsletter. Having witnessed your journey and read your books, I always loved the idea of minimalism as a means to reduce the anxiety I felt from having too much clutter and stuff, however I could never sustain / maintain minimalism with two young girls. This post is exactly the reason. I really relate to and appreciate your acknowledgment of the enjoyment stuff can bring as an alternative / happy medium. For me it’s a reminder that we should have stuff not because someone else tells us that it will make us better (thanks Instagram for that), but because it makes us feel good when no one else is looking. Intentional purchasing is where I think I have landed, and really considering what is compelling me to want something - internal conviction or external influences. Love your work, and loving the Olympics too!
Thanks for mentioning the part social media plays in our consumption habits. It is so easy to be jealous and crave what others have. That is they cue for me to get off IG and come back to my own interests and desires. Always a balance.
I listened to nearly every episode of the slow home podcast and now I don’t have to hit Listen because I can hear your gorgeous voice in my head as I read. I love all of this and I’m in a similar place. I stripped right back with you 10 years ago, got rid of most things, had my children amongst multiple health crises and have wound up very lost and burnt out. I got to the point where I couldn’t buy anything for myself without guilt. I think I’m ready to move on now, but like you I want to do it carefully and mindfully, I want the joy without keeping up with anyone else. I can’t wait to hear more 💛
The SYH podcast was a weekly treat for me. It came at the perfect time in my life. I recently moved to a new area and didn't have any friends. I felt connected to a community and a friend when the Pod was released. I found myself learning about bamboo underwear (still wearing them), sustainable living, decluttering and exposing me to different people living amazing and inspiring lives. I now take those lessons and apply them to my life without harsh judgment and criticism. Doesn't if feel great to let that go?
I really like the idea of minimalism as an overcorrection from overconsumption, and that there’s a balance somewhere in between. I’ve also been on the ‘cull everything, find peace’ journey, also after becoming a parent, and I definitely think there’s more joy in the middle ground than in either extreme. ❤️
I am glad that you found the middle ground earlier than I did. Mine are in their 20's and their trophies, Star Wars and Playmobile toys take up precious space in the attic. I secretly dream of passing them on to Goodwill, but that is not fair. They can choose later when they are ready. In the past, I was a bit crabby about wanting to get rid of their "crap". I am glad to be past that phase. Not very nice!
Yes this is definitely a balance for me personally! I am absolutely nowhere with the kids’ stuff! 😂 Mine are still small, but we already have boxes and boxes of artwork and two years’ worth of school work and soooooo many clothes!! It’s taken up all the space I made from my decluttering 😂
It’s all good.Enjoy the glorious mess that kids are.
Love this! I’m on much the same trajectory. I was a big collector of things when I was younger and modelled a lot off my mum who is a big ‘therapy shopper’. When I moved into my own place, I pared right down after seeing how my mum struggled to manage all her stuff. I got very into minimalism and no buys and living with what I had, partly with a sustainability and financial focus too. Now im coming back around to seeing how stuff can be a positive when sourced intentionally. I love a Wishlist but im still not great at actually making the purchase, I’d love to let go of the guilt a bit. I think it’s part of looking after myself and feeling like I can deserve some nice things occasionally.
I watch a lot of Hannah Louise Poston on YouTube, she’s fantastic. She often says the goal is “fewer nicer things” and is a big proponent of having beautiful things in your life but still being a mindful consumer.
Thank you for sharing about the guilt. Since money is tight, I wait and wait to buy something...even if I need it. I look around and feel that I have so much already. But I do need shoes and a bra. Sometimes, I need to audibly remind myself that I can buy things that I want, that are pretty or just functional.
Hi Brooke, I'm fairly new to your Substack and it's really interesting for me to read your summaries of your past journeys and where they've brought you. I think the key to joy is to curate your life around what feels authentic - minimalists find joy in their choices, and so do maximialists because we all have different tastes and needs. I lean towards simple and functional with a little bit of dopamine thrown into the mix. That way it's not cluttered (I hate clutter) and it's not cold or utilitarian - it works for me and I'm glad you've found your middle ground too. Keep encouraging us to find our right fit - it brings such a sense of peace and contentment when we do. :)
HI! I like the middle ground too. If a place is too cluttered, I itch and can't focus. My mother-in-law's house is crammed with every knick-knack known to man. It is amazing. I respect that it is her space, but I always come home and remove more things from the house. 🤣
I’m so excited that you’re focusing on this topic, Brooke! It’s perfect timing as I go through my belongings before moving next year. Trying to figure out what to keep, what not to keep and what I may need to buy, is a very real quest for me right now. I delved quite heavily into minimalism a few years ago until it felt too restrictive. Trying to find a balance is tricky, but I agree that coming from a place where you’re happy within yourself makes it easier to understand what serves you and what doesn’t or no longer does.
Good luck with the move! That is the best time to look and assess what you have. We kept an apartment for years and the deal was that none of it was coming home. Well, we filled a small truck and brought it back. My hubby just can't let things go. Instead of fighting about it, I keep my things trim. I notice a shift when he spends a week at his Mom's house. Her place is a hoarder's dream. I usually can remove some unnecessary things once we return home. I finally understand that it is a constant process of acquiring and removing.
It’s great that you’ve been able to strike that balance at least with your own things and also allow your husband to have his own journey with possessions. I could imagine that wouldn’t be easy 😂
Ha. I am learning the lesson of letting go of control. I just keep doing what I want to do with my things and it helps lessen the desire to mess with his. I do secretly wish that he would toss some things. Old soda bottles and tools would be a place to start. 🤣
I have too much stuff and think a lot about where it will go (much of it is stuff I took from loved ones homes). There are many times that bring joy and I use so for now I am ok with this.
It is most definitely ok to find joy in things ~ the things that are left in that balanced middle ground where we settle after the pendulum swings between too much and, quite frankly, too little. I've never swung wildly in either direction but am definitely on the "could do with a spot of decluttering" side! It is happening, albeit slowly.
I was really put off minimalism, certainly the ultra variety, after I'd been in too many homes with no books! Or at least none on display. How can there be no books?! There's no Kondo-style tidying them away in cupboards for me:)
As always, your letters are thought-provoking and a joy to read. As are the comments ~ what a community! ❤️
I agree with you about the books. We have a tiny house and space is limited, but there are bookshelves. When I attempted to sort through the kids' old books, only a couple went to Goodwill. They were thoughtfully purchased, in good condition and they are lovely.
Brooke, I love this post. I agree with it all. For me it was consumerism to make me feel more/worthy and then when I worked through the stuff that had me operating that way, I gave away so much, totally minimalist. In my family the story of giving away the dining table and chairs because I was looking to soon move somewhere smaller once all the kids had moved out, is legendary. It took me 3 years to finally move out and I was hosting family gatherings with a BYO trestle or picnic table clause. I literally swung from one extreme to the other. Now I’ve found my happy medium, making sustainable knitwear that I can pass on to my daughter. Only replacing what is worn out, not just because something prettier or shinier has caught my eye. Going through a small health issue at the moment so moving freely is hard. Instead of visiting the Art Gallery of NSW, I’m looking at the pieces of art that I’ve bought and have been gifted to me with new eyes. It’s not the same but it’s what I can do, for now.
That is wonderful that you are finding joy in the art in your home. I live in a tiny town in the mountains, and I rely on the outdoors to inspire me and bring me joy. The wall space is limited, but I have lots of windows to gaze outside. I realize that I don't need much to keep me company or entertain me. Books, something to knit, sketchbooks to mess about in, and a clean kitchen. I do crave a new kitchen table and a cozy chair. We only have one soft chair in the house and my hubby has taken it over. I need to buy two that can be placed right in front of the wood stove...just like the places in Wind in the Willows. Take care and I hope you feel better soon.
Thanks Blythe. I hope that you get your comfy chairs soon,
Thank you Brooke for the post, and I love the pictures. Isn't it interesting to look at our possessions laid out or packed in a car? I notice this whenever I take a trip by car. It is an interesting experiment to see what matters to me when I pack. At the last minute, I always manage to add one more sketchbook, pens, a book, and tarot cards. If I am ambitious I'll even tuck in some knitting. I tend to take fewer clothes and more things to keep me entertained...especially when I'm visiting my mother-in-law. I am constantly looking around at things to get rid of. For me, it stems from wanting to travel. I want to get the house paired down, clean, and organized so I can leave for months at a time. I'm not interested in buying throw pillows or matching my sheets. I detest shopping, which amazes my mom as it is her favorite activity. At 82, her walk-in closets are full of clothes and shoes. As my parents consider downsizing to move into an assisted living situation, they are frozen. It will be challenging for them to declutter and choose what goes. I am grateful that I am not attached to most of the items in my house. All the years of listening and being a part of your journey have contributed to my current attitude and state of living. Thank you for openly sharing your story and creating a warm, inviting space to learn and grow in.