Brooke! Once again you’ve given me food for thought and left me feeling motivated to try adding a few small but meaningful acts into my day! AND a thrill of joy when I spotted you recommending my newsletter again! Ya bloody legend - thank you so much for all you do and your support, it means a LOT!
Your point about the little ripples from acts of self care is such a good one, for me self care often includes little things that make me more aware of being in the world (and not so much just in my head) - stopping to smell sweet peas on a neighbours fence, making sure to drive with the windows down and obnoxiously loud music playing in our car during the (currently rare) times I’m out driving on my own, opening the door to the garden in the morning, having breakfast outside. You’ve reminded me to put more value on these little things and make sure I do more of them - thanks my friend! 🥰🥰
Windows down and music obnoxiously loud is my love language! There's a liberation there that sings in my chest for hours after. Such a weird thing but so so joyous.
And you're welcome - I'm loving everything you're creating and want more people to discover your awesomeness. 💚
Hahaha yes!! I was thinking yesterday I want to be 80 years old and still doing it - there’s something about it that will always make me feel like I’m 18, total liberation, like you say ☺️
And thank you!! You have no idea how motivating and encouraging that is ! 🥰💗
Oh gosh, I could talk about self care all day. I love how you call it boring self care. Boring self care got me (is getting me) through the newborn phase.
Baby is 6 months old now and is sleeping a *little bit* better, but in those first early days I NEEDED boring self care.
I made a promise to myself that no matter what, I’d always brush my teeth, shower, eat 3 meals a day, drink my water, take my medication, and sleep as often as I could. Sometimes, those boring self care moments were all I could do. Other days I managed to read some of my book or get outside, but not always. Without those boring self care moments, I dread to think what could have been!
It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job, Sophie! That newborn stage is a perfect example of when boring self-care is the life raft. I remember it well, and only wish I'd had a better grip on the idea of taking care of myself at the time. So glad you are! 💚
I didn’t have such a good understanding of it when my older two children were small, but this time I’m really prioritising myself and it’s working wonders. Maybe being older this time helps too, but making sure the boring stuff (read essential stuff!) is taken care of is really paying off 🤍
100%! I keep a logbook for much the same reason - it helps me see what each day held, and so often it's more than I would ever remember or acknowledge. reminding ourselves of what we're already doing is such a powerful thing. Thanks for sharing Claire 💚
I do this too! lol At first I thought it was kinda lame to track when I brush my hair, don't drink coffee, go for a walk, but you're right, it is really eye opening
This post really resonated with me. I'm currently working with my therapist on some anxiety symptoms and he's encouraged me to take 3 steps back and really focus on ways to make day to day anxieties stay small before they build into those bigger feelings that take over. And that means self care! Things like you mentioned. For me that's waking with an alarm 15 minutes before my kids wake up for the day, taking a walk around the block, having a tea instead of coffee, brushing my hair before I put it in a bun, washing my face before before bed, putting my phone away while the kids have quiet time and cutting off my internet access after 8pm (those last two honestly sound like they should be small easy things to do but has proved to be so challenging for me!).
I have always only done self care when I'm feeling very stressed, when something HAS to change but once I started doing smaller self care things more frequently I noticed that those big feelings don't build up as much :)
I'm so happy to read all of this Natalie - it's a perfect example of boring/powerful self-care. I wish the mainstream messaging around self-care wasn't so focused on the big, shiny things OR the 'wait until I'm stressed' mentality, because using all the tiny, boring tools kind of negates the need for the other two to a certain extent. It makes life feel more sustainable, you know?
And I hear you on the battle to put away the phone/cut off internet by 8pm. If it helps, I try to see that as less a personal challenge and more a symptom of the massive tech industry that profits off our attention. That flip seems to make me a little angry, which helps me to turn off the tech as a way of sticking it to the man. It's a bit weird but it works 😆
All of this is so true. I've recocut out alcohol altogether (since hitting the menopause) and it's almost insulting how well my body has responded to it.
I hear you Louise! I haven’t had alcohol for almost three years (my younger self is still shocked) and it is 100% insulting how well I feel because of it too 😆 That’s another kind of boring self-care i guess - one where I was worried life would be boring, but instead I just feel a bit more cared for. 💚
You will laugh - I learned this from the woman who skipped with a rope on the landing of my flat in London. I cursed her at the time but she was right. I use light weights and no rope. And it always makes me feel ready to meet the day. Great honesty, Brooke.
Yes! I view my face washing in much the same way Megan. It's hard to articulate the difference, but I really do feel uplifted when I view it like that. I love this example - thank you for sharing 💚
I’ve just started trying to create that for myself. I’ve realised how much of it is mindset, thinking of it as self care but even more believing I’m worthy of acts of self care.
"even more believing I'm worthy of acts of self care". I cannot love this more Kate. It really is like a muscle and I think the longer we practise the stronger it gets. 💚
Hi Brooke. I noticed you mentioned a retreat. I've just done a self retreat, whilst cat sitting. I took the approach of trying to do things differently to my normal routine - less tech time, more down time, lots of unfilled moments. And I've come out of it full of ideas and energy. I can highly recommend a self retreat like this, even if it is at home!
Oh this sounds utterly *delightful* Debs. It's something I'd really like to do before the end of the year and you've just given me the extra boost I need to make it happen. I hope your retreat was as wonderful and restorative as it sounds 💚
Reframing or expanding my thoughts on self care has made wearing my CPAP machine each night possible. A very unnatural, at times uncomfortable experience, and in the early days I focused on the “ shittyness ” of the experience until one night my husband asked how I am ok with putting a “ vacuum hose “ on my nose each night. A quiet contemplation later I answered because it makes tomorrow better. Wearing it each night is a form of self care and contributes to how I self care the following day, and I choose to be grateful for that.
My favourite self care each day is brewing a Prana Chai, straining it into my beautiful cup and saucer and having a quiet sit for a moment each afternoon, magnificent
"because it makes tomorrow better". I got actual goosebumps reading that Joh. Such a simple idea but one we so often wrestle with. I love love love that. Thank you for sharing it with us 💚
Yes! Perfect! It's one of those things I could so easily pass off as a chore, but seeing it as an act of self-care both in the moment and for the future changes it completely. 💚
I love this, Brooke! Reading this made me realise that one of my rituals is presenting my home-cooked meals as beautifully as I can. That might sound strange to some, but I live alone and realised some years ago that I only really made an effort with food if I was cooking for someone else. Once I accepted that I deserve this for myself too, it changed the way I cook and serve my meals for myself (for the better, I think!). It cheers me up too. I hadn’t really thought of this as self care, but I guess it is!
That 100% sounds like self-care to me too Paula. I hadn't considered it before but I think there's something really powerful in what you've said about accepting that you deserve the same level of care and attention you'd give someone else (if not more!) Such good food for thought (ha!) thank you for sharing 💚
Oh the birds in the morning - i love that one Diana! And I think the hand lotion is another lovely one because it can so often be seen as something we just do/have to do, but seeing it as a moment of touch, connection, presence makes it something else entirely.
I’m on maternity leave currently and finding that my self care involves going out to get a coffee each morning with the little one...I could make it at home and save the $4.50 but it’s the connection with my local barista, cafe owner and other customers I need to keep my sanity. Well worth it
It wasn't until recently that I realised I had to care for myself with the same attention and energy I put into caring for those around me - specifically my children, but my husband and my mum too (sandwich generation, hi!). My children are high-needs, and it seems that the higher their needs in any given time frame, the higher mine get! Co-regulation is hard on the ol' stress levels. My boring self-care looks like cleaning my tongue in the morning and using nasal spray at night as part of my hygiene routine. Moisturizing my feet regularly. Decluttering constantly (stress from visual clutter is a real thing for me). And a new thing which is not boring yet, is to make a batch of low-sugar, high-fibre muffins just for me to eat for breakfast. Feels decadent enough to be shiny self-care, and it's one less decision to make in the morning, leaving me space to make one more decision when it counts.
I'm backpacking at the moment and I had a lightbulb moment early in my trip when I realised that 'hey, literally my only responsibility right now is to look after myself'. And then I also realised that it's a really, really difficult thing to do!
Pre-travel I was working as an OT and lived and breathed 'boring self-care' with my patients. At the same time sometimes it's so hard to practice what you preach.
While I'm moving around, any grounding routine has been out the door and I'm learning ways to stay on top of my self care (for my body and mind!) while I'm caught up in all the beautiful chaos around me.
Brooke! Once again you’ve given me food for thought and left me feeling motivated to try adding a few small but meaningful acts into my day! AND a thrill of joy when I spotted you recommending my newsletter again! Ya bloody legend - thank you so much for all you do and your support, it means a LOT!
Your point about the little ripples from acts of self care is such a good one, for me self care often includes little things that make me more aware of being in the world (and not so much just in my head) - stopping to smell sweet peas on a neighbours fence, making sure to drive with the windows down and obnoxiously loud music playing in our car during the (currently rare) times I’m out driving on my own, opening the door to the garden in the morning, having breakfast outside. You’ve reminded me to put more value on these little things and make sure I do more of them - thanks my friend! 🥰🥰
Windows down and music obnoxiously loud is my love language! There's a liberation there that sings in my chest for hours after. Such a weird thing but so so joyous.
And you're welcome - I'm loving everything you're creating and want more people to discover your awesomeness. 💚
Hahaha yes!! I was thinking yesterday I want to be 80 years old and still doing it - there’s something about it that will always make me feel like I’m 18, total liberation, like you say ☺️
And thank you!! You have no idea how motivating and encouraging that is ! 🥰💗
Oh gosh, I could talk about self care all day. I love how you call it boring self care. Boring self care got me (is getting me) through the newborn phase.
Baby is 6 months old now and is sleeping a *little bit* better, but in those first early days I NEEDED boring self care.
I made a promise to myself that no matter what, I’d always brush my teeth, shower, eat 3 meals a day, drink my water, take my medication, and sleep as often as I could. Sometimes, those boring self care moments were all I could do. Other days I managed to read some of my book or get outside, but not always. Without those boring self care moments, I dread to think what could have been!
It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job, Sophie! That newborn stage is a perfect example of when boring self-care is the life raft. I remember it well, and only wish I'd had a better grip on the idea of taking care of myself at the time. So glad you are! 💚
I didn’t have such a good understanding of it when my older two children were small, but this time I’m really prioritising myself and it’s working wonders. Maybe being older this time helps too, but making sure the boring stuff (read essential stuff!) is taken care of is really paying off 🤍
I have a habit tracker to track the boring self care stuff. Opens your eyes to what you actually do rather than what you think you do.
100%! I keep a logbook for much the same reason - it helps me see what each day held, and so often it's more than I would ever remember or acknowledge. reminding ourselves of what we're already doing is such a powerful thing. Thanks for sharing Claire 💚
I do this too! lol At first I thought it was kinda lame to track when I brush my hair, don't drink coffee, go for a walk, but you're right, it is really eye opening
It's so good to have that reminder isn't it?? Somehow just remembering what we're already doing helps to flip the switch some days.
This post really resonated with me. I'm currently working with my therapist on some anxiety symptoms and he's encouraged me to take 3 steps back and really focus on ways to make day to day anxieties stay small before they build into those bigger feelings that take over. And that means self care! Things like you mentioned. For me that's waking with an alarm 15 minutes before my kids wake up for the day, taking a walk around the block, having a tea instead of coffee, brushing my hair before I put it in a bun, washing my face before before bed, putting my phone away while the kids have quiet time and cutting off my internet access after 8pm (those last two honestly sound like they should be small easy things to do but has proved to be so challenging for me!).
I have always only done self care when I'm feeling very stressed, when something HAS to change but once I started doing smaller self care things more frequently I noticed that those big feelings don't build up as much :)
I'm so happy to read all of this Natalie - it's a perfect example of boring/powerful self-care. I wish the mainstream messaging around self-care wasn't so focused on the big, shiny things OR the 'wait until I'm stressed' mentality, because using all the tiny, boring tools kind of negates the need for the other two to a certain extent. It makes life feel more sustainable, you know?
And I hear you on the battle to put away the phone/cut off internet by 8pm. If it helps, I try to see that as less a personal challenge and more a symptom of the massive tech industry that profits off our attention. That flip seems to make me a little angry, which helps me to turn off the tech as a way of sticking it to the man. It's a bit weird but it works 😆
All of this is so true. I've recocut out alcohol altogether (since hitting the menopause) and it's almost insulting how well my body has responded to it.
I hear you Louise! I haven’t had alcohol for almost three years (my younger self is still shocked) and it is 100% insulting how well I feel because of it too 😆 That’s another kind of boring self-care i guess - one where I was worried life would be boring, but instead I just feel a bit more cared for. 💚
Sorry for the typo. It should read that I've recently cut out alcohol 🤦
You will laugh - I learned this from the woman who skipped with a rope on the landing of my flat in London. I cursed her at the time but she was right. I use light weights and no rope. And it always makes me feel ready to meet the day. Great honesty, Brooke.
I love this Helen!! 💚
I have recently discovered a new skin care range and it has elevated the twice daily face wash into a beautiful moment of self care.
Yes! I view my face washing in much the same way Megan. It's hard to articulate the difference, but I really do feel uplifted when I view it like that. I love this example - thank you for sharing 💚
I’ve just started trying to create that for myself. I’ve realised how much of it is mindset, thinking of it as self care but even more believing I’m worthy of acts of self care.
"even more believing I'm worthy of acts of self care". I cannot love this more Kate. It really is like a muscle and I think the longer we practise the stronger it gets. 💚
Hi Brooke. I noticed you mentioned a retreat. I've just done a self retreat, whilst cat sitting. I took the approach of trying to do things differently to my normal routine - less tech time, more down time, lots of unfilled moments. And I've come out of it full of ideas and energy. I can highly recommend a self retreat like this, even if it is at home!
Oh this sounds utterly *delightful* Debs. It's something I'd really like to do before the end of the year and you've just given me the extra boost I need to make it happen. I hope your retreat was as wonderful and restorative as it sounds 💚
Reframing or expanding my thoughts on self care has made wearing my CPAP machine each night possible. A very unnatural, at times uncomfortable experience, and in the early days I focused on the “ shittyness ” of the experience until one night my husband asked how I am ok with putting a “ vacuum hose “ on my nose each night. A quiet contemplation later I answered because it makes tomorrow better. Wearing it each night is a form of self care and contributes to how I self care the following day, and I choose to be grateful for that.
My favourite self care each day is brewing a Prana Chai, straining it into my beautiful cup and saucer and having a quiet sit for a moment each afternoon, magnificent
Kindest💞
Joh
"because it makes tomorrow better". I got actual goosebumps reading that Joh. Such a simple idea but one we so often wrestle with. I love love love that. Thank you for sharing it with us 💚
Flossing my teeth every night is the most important and boring self care item in my life.
Yes! Perfect! It's one of those things I could so easily pass off as a chore, but seeing it as an act of self-care both in the moment and for the future changes it completely. 💚
I love this, Brooke! Reading this made me realise that one of my rituals is presenting my home-cooked meals as beautifully as I can. That might sound strange to some, but I live alone and realised some years ago that I only really made an effort with food if I was cooking for someone else. Once I accepted that I deserve this for myself too, it changed the way I cook and serve my meals for myself (for the better, I think!). It cheers me up too. I hadn’t really thought of this as self care, but I guess it is!
That 100% sounds like self-care to me too Paula. I hadn't considered it before but I think there's something really powerful in what you've said about accepting that you deserve the same level of care and attention you'd give someone else (if not more!) Such good food for thought (ha!) thank you for sharing 💚
Boring self care:
lying in bed listening to the birds chirping for a few minutes before jumping out of bed first thing (not looking at my phone)
Also, washing my hands and moisturizing them with lotion
Great post as always, Brooke. Looking forward to your upcoming retreat. 🤍
Oh the birds in the morning - i love that one Diana! And I think the hand lotion is another lovely one because it can so often be seen as something we just do/have to do, but seeing it as a moment of touch, connection, presence makes it something else entirely.
I can't wait for the retreat too!! 💚
I’m on maternity leave currently and finding that my self care involves going out to get a coffee each morning with the little one...I could make it at home and save the $4.50 but it’s the connection with my local barista, cafe owner and other customers I need to keep my sanity. Well worth it
It wasn't until recently that I realised I had to care for myself with the same attention and energy I put into caring for those around me - specifically my children, but my husband and my mum too (sandwich generation, hi!). My children are high-needs, and it seems that the higher their needs in any given time frame, the higher mine get! Co-regulation is hard on the ol' stress levels. My boring self-care looks like cleaning my tongue in the morning and using nasal spray at night as part of my hygiene routine. Moisturizing my feet regularly. Decluttering constantly (stress from visual clutter is a real thing for me). And a new thing which is not boring yet, is to make a batch of low-sugar, high-fibre muffins just for me to eat for breakfast. Feels decadent enough to be shiny self-care, and it's one less decision to make in the morning, leaving me space to make one more decision when it counts.
Ahh this is so great, Brooke! A lovely read :)
I'm backpacking at the moment and I had a lightbulb moment early in my trip when I realised that 'hey, literally my only responsibility right now is to look after myself'. And then I also realised that it's a really, really difficult thing to do!
Pre-travel I was working as an OT and lived and breathed 'boring self-care' with my patients. At the same time sometimes it's so hard to practice what you preach.
While I'm moving around, any grounding routine has been out the door and I'm learning ways to stay on top of my self care (for my body and mind!) while I'm caught up in all the beautiful chaos around me.
All the little things truly do add up! xx