Welcome to the final week of our values workshop. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s joined me over the past few weeks, and hope that today’s video answers the (excellent, insightful, thought-provoking) questions you all submitted.
If you have any follow-up Q’s after watching, please leave them in the comments. Chances are, if you’re wondering about it, someone else is too.
To dig in to this week, you’ll need:
time - the video runs for just under an hour but there’s no specific exercises set for this week, so take it as slow as you need
journal or notebook
If you haven’t had a chance to work through Weeks 1 and 2 yet, you can find them here:
And now on to the video!
There was lots of discussion over the past couple of weeks about the difference between a tool/solution and a value, as well as how to discern between an aspiration and a core value. In short, I don’t think there’s a definitive answer to these questions, but instead encourage you to look at it through a lens of curiosity or experimentation. Spend some time asking “What would happen if…?” and just see where it takes you.
Additionally, I talk about tilting a lot. If you’ve not come across the concept before, it is essentially my anti-balance approach. That is, instead of trying to maintain a balance across all of your values, at all times, allow yourself to willing tilt out of balance. Tilt all the way in to what needs your attention in the moment, understanding that you’re tilting away from other things in that moment. It will feel counter-intuitive, but in the end I believe we get a more balanced approach to life - the difference being that it’s balanced over a month or a year, as opposed to a day.
Without any (further) preamble, here’s a list of the questions I answer in the video below:
How can we tell the difference between a value and a should, specifically if they’re related to each other?
How do you tell the difference between wanting more of something (eg. self-respect, self-acceptance) and having it as a value?
How do we separate values that we aspire to embody, but are not core to our being right now?
Did anyone else find themselves looking for different words to sum up their value?
What to do when life forces you to focus more on one value at the expense of another?
How do you know if your values have changed?
Is it okay to have more than 5 values?
Would Self-Care be considered a value as opposed to Health? Or is it more of a tool?
(If you’re having trouble accessing the video, head over here.)
As I mention in the video, if you have follow-up questions, hit me up in the comments.
Thank you again for joining me.
Much love,
Brooke xx
Hi Brooke, that was a wonderful hour spent with you and was extremely helpful. Thanks to everyone for their great questions and sharing too. I'll admit I was still struggling with a few of my values this week and this has helped me solidify them. My husband and I even had a great deep conversation about our values together this morning which was wonderful. I look forward to your next workshop. Thanks again xx
Hi Brooke,
Thank you so much for giving us your time and energy to lead us through this area of exploration. I had done the eulogy exercise when you had mentioned it previously, and just had to 'dust' it off, so it wasn't as intense as the first time.
After exploring values and deciding what was a tool and what is just who I am (i.e. organized for example, it is just me), I have landed on (in no order) the following for the time being: self-care, fun (includes humour, laughter and play), choice (includes independence, freedom, control), growth (includes knowledge, wisdom, learning) and a surprise for me, relationships. As an introvert, who often finds other humans annoying (especially when they are in large groups), I was a bit surprised by this one. However, upon reflection, I do value my relationships with nature, my husband, family, friends, communities, my dogs, and my clients (I work with individuals with autism and their families). It was really by expanding my first thoughts of 'relationships' that helped me see it was a value.
I know there has been a lot of discussion on self-care/health as a value. Perhaps, I value self-care, in part, because my work relationships and job can be very hard (I tend to work with clients with severe problem behaviour, and families in crisis). To be able to meet my clients where they are, I need to be the best me I can be. Self-care also protects me from the burnout I see so many of my colleagues suffering.
Thanks again for you time. I look forward to your other experiments.